Where to next?

Out came the smart phones as we decided to see if there were any geocaches near by. And lo and behold, there was one we hadn’t found only a few hundred meters away.

My aunt, who was up the road from us a way, as our strange, disjointed meanderings broke the group apart when the phones came out. A black pickup stopped beside her and I saw her pointing to the fishing dam with one of her sister’s walking poles. When she caught up with us she giggled, saying, “I gave him directions to the fishing dam and told him good luck.”

“It’s okay, I have a 4×4,” the man had said.

“No,” she replied. “You are getting your directions from me!” (She lives about 3000kms away.)

Meanwhile, my husband was just about jumping out of his skin. “Was that the guy from Canada’s Greatest Know it All? He was on Canada’s Greatest Know it all!!! I’m sure that was him!”

However, nobody else had seen the Discovery Channel show and couldn’t verify whether or not this really was a contestant from Canada’s Greatest Know It All. (Even I wasn’t much help. I’d caught bits of the show over my husband’s shoulder, but I hadn’t gotten a good glimpse of the driver when he’d passed us on his way to the dam.)

But I knew that the dam wasn’t all that time-consuming as a destination at this time of the year and that if he’d asked for directions heading there he certainly wouldn’t take the back roads out of the dam. He was sure to come back the way he’d come.

And he did.

My other aunt offered to lie in the road so my husband could get a good look at the driver and verify if it was indeed this local celebrity. We didn’t need to fear that though, with us all milling about in the road, he slowed, his window rolled down. He had more questions. Was it free camping down at the dam?

“Yes,” I replied and then pointed in the direction of the free sewer dump saying that it was free as well.

My husband, practically bouncing beside me (and very unlike his usual quiet self) asked him, “Were you on TV? Were you on Canada’s Greatest Know It All?”

The man gave a little smile and said that yes, that was him.

My husband, who had yet to finish watching the season online, asked, “Did you win? I missed the last episode.”

The man paused, then said, “You know, I don’t remember.”

My husband, whipping out his phone asked, “Can I take a picture of you for my daughter?” (Read that: for him so he could show the kids at school (where he works) and pretty much anyone else who might be dazzled by this awesome brush with fame. Although our daughter is a fan of the show as well and had stayed behind to hang with Grandma–due to the general leg pulling that happens in our family, visual evidence is always a plus when telling a story such as this one.)

The man said sure and suddenly I’m holding the phone as my husband (usually a shy guy) is standing beside the man’s open window, smiling, thumbs up.

I can’t see the screen on the phone in the sunshine and the cab is backlit as I’m looking into the sun, but I think I sort of get a picture. I explain I can’t see the picture, but that I think I got it.

The man pops out of his truck saying how we’re not going to get a good picture shooting into the cab as well as into the sun. (It’s true.) Before I know it, he’s out on the road beside my husband, smiling, thumbs up. (His wife and dog, meanwhile, are being very patient with us.)

I take the picture.

5 Things I Learned From My Quick Meeting of Canada’s Greatest Know It All (CGKIA):

1. You Can’t Know It All

Even with the title “Canada’s Greatest Know It All” you can’t know it all. (Yes, he won.) How do you think CGKIA got to know so much? By asking. And listening. As writers, we need to stop and ask. Even if we become ‘huge’ it still pays to stop and ask a local. Or unlocal, as the case may be.

2. Be Modest

There is no point being so full of yourself that you can’t stop and ask for directions. Pride gets in the way of living and doing what you really want. If he’d been boastful about his title, my husband would not have been nearly so pumped having met him. If CGKIA had been prideful and big-headed, he wouldn’t have discovered one of the area’s best kept camping secrets–or at least he would have spent a lot more time and gas in discovering it. Make it easy on yourself–if you don’t know, ask.

3. Don’t Spoil the Ending

In the case of CGKIA, he didn’t reveal whether he’d won or not to my husband. It would have spoiled the end of the show for my husband who was obviously a fan. For writers–if you meet a reader on the street, don’t reveal the ending of your book. Say you can’t remember. We’ll know you’re lying, but we’ll love you for it. (Plus, this added to Mr. Celebrity’s modest demeanor–always refreshing.)

4. Be a Good Sport

I was so impressed with how CGKIA jumped right out of his truck so my husband could get a good shot of the two of them together. That was pretty awesome. As writers, there may come a time when people stop us to ask for our autograph or to sign their books. Be gracious. Be a good sport. What is 2 minutes out of our day to make a fan feel unbelievable? That’s what’s going to help our personal brand and image. Right there. Easy.

5. Six Degrees of Separation

While watching the show, CGKIA, my husband told my daughter that her mom (me) probably knew someone who knew someone who knew CGKIA because he lived close to where I grew up. Since we bumped into CGKIA right there on the road leading out of the town I grew up in… I’d say that the degrees of separation can pretty darn small these days.

For me, this is some pretty serious food for thought. As writers, when we become famous and are pumping out bestsellers like we’re an unspayed stray, keep in mind how connected we are to all these perfect strangers. Someone is going to know someone who tweeted with us. Or served us dinner in a diner (yeah, we’re still going to eat in diners), or gave us directions. How should we behave? Sure, writers aren’t often recognized on the street, but still. It is worth thinking about. In today’s world we’re going to be connected to fans in ways previous generations of writers never imagined.

How about you? Have you had a brush with celebrity? Has it given you food for thought?

But think about it:

• Those who usually reach the finish line have worked hard for years and years before they ever cross it.

• The best writers write alllll the time. Some write an hour every day. Even when they are busy or don’t feel like it.

• The most prolific writers make writing a priority and find room in their schedules to make it happen. It comes first.

• The writers who succeed never give up.

• The best writers never mistake “good enough” for “complete.”

• The writers who make it change tacts if they need to.

• The ones who get the most out of their online circles have put the work into their relationships and haven’t given up when they can’t seem to break the 200 mark for followers or 10 friends and when nobody responds to their tweets. They keep chugging.

• They are consistently the same person. They have built their personal writing brand on who they are and who they can keep being day after day. They haven’t gone for the fake flash in the pan, they’ve gone for the genuine long haul.

It isn’t easy by any stretch of the imagination, but it we want it, really truly want it… what’s standing in our way? Chances are… it’s ourselves.

I know I could improve on a couple of these things and be more consistent in terms of building my writing career. How about you? How are you doing?

Right now my husband is out running a 5K in high winds, pushing our little guy in a stroller. I’m at home.

Why? Oh, I have a ton of excuses for not registering in the fun run. Everything from I’m sure I won’t have the energy to I haven’t done much running since the Gorilla Run last fall–which I really enjoyed–and so I feel unprepared, to  not having a babysitter for our older child to who knows what the weather will be to maybe there will be scary hills… I could go on.

But the truth is layered in fear. I was afraid. Not of finishing last, but really sucking. Of it being painful. Of having to compete with people I know who have been training all winter. Of it not being any stinkin’ fun. Of losing/failing publicly.

All these stupid fears that are holding me back of doing something enjoyable–husband is now back and had fun just walking and running with the group from work–also holds me back with writing. That fear of finishing last–or close to last. Of not making it. Of showing up all geared up and everyone knowing… and then completely bombing it. It’s that fear of admitting I’m trying something new… something I may fail at. And having to face up to the fact that I couldn’t do it. That I failed. Of not being able to cross that finish line. A DNF (did not finish).

Nobody wants a DNF stamped across on their writing career. Nobody wants to go through the pain and hard work and not experience a reward at the end. Nobody wants to have to try and explain to their family and friends why they are still not published.

It’s easier to make a fool of ourselves in private, rather than in our nested hometown. And that’s why so few people in my real life know that I write. But I am realizing that maybe, in order to succeed, I need that hometown support. I need my friends cheering me on and walking and running beside me in order to make it across the finish line. I need their connections. Their tips, ideas, and understanding.

A friend on AQC just mentioned the three irons he has in the fire at the moment–and they are all due to networking and using his connections. And every book I’ve read lately about using social media effectively and building your brand says to use your friends. To get them on board. To use your connections. Your network. Let them know what you are doing and how they can support you. Use their belief in you to reach out to new people.

And if you are like me–too afraid to let them know what you are doing–how are they going to be able to help you? How will I reach that next level? How will I use my social network to get the word out about what I’m doing if I’m too afraid to tell them?

Quite plainly… I’m not. And that’s why I’m going to have to pull up my big girl pants and ask the people in my life to help me spread the word. Otherwise I will be today’s April Fool.

How about you? Have you had to pull up your big girl/boy pants and ask for help? How did it go? Any advice for me?

Think about it. You get over making a plot that works, a timeline that doesn’t have major flaws, characters that aren’t flat, dialogue that feels real, and even though there are tough spots, it is invigorating. It’s fun. Those are challenges you can surmount. They are within your control.

And then you get to the hard part.

If you agree–feel free to share this badge. Please don’t alter it.

Selling your writing.

Not just the polishing which takes time, but writing a perfect query letter to snazzle-dazzle an agent, crafting a synopsis that shows off you, your writing, your characters, your plot, and your story’s amazing standout sizzle.

You build a platform which is so dependent on hitting the right note to convince others to take precious time out of their lives and follow you, like you, comment on you, share you, etc. Creating brand ambassadors is no easy, quick, overnight happenstance. It takes time, dedication, and a slow and steady consistency that could try a monk.

Meanwhile you see others hitting their mark and accelerating past you. Reveling in success. And in some ways, it is yours too. It’s wonderful to see. You were there when it happened, you helped them with critiques or simply with a little cheerleading. They show you that it is possible. That dreams do come true.

But sometimes…

Sometimes it sucks. You know it. I know it. They know it. Sometimes you have a bad week where life beats you up, kicks you around, rubs dirt in your eyes, and makes it difficult to even meet your most basic goals or emotional needs.

You want to cry. You want to feel sorry for yourself. You want to tell the world they’ve forgotten about you and that they are missing out on something big. That it’s not fair.

But you. Must. Not. I repeat: You. Must. Not.

The Internet is forever. What is posted one day and deleted the next isn’t necessarily so. Alexa has a wayback machine, Google has a searchable cache. Think screenshots. People quoting, copying, sharing. Think before you post. Now and for always. And especially if you one day dream of becoming a “public” figure in some way shape or form. This even affects people looking for jobs these days–employers Google candidates. So be careful! If you have to vent, tell someone you trust in real life, not on a public, online forum.

Also remember if you whine and moan and carry on to your following you will be branded a bitter, jaded, what-have-you and that will be it. One day of sharing your deepest, diamond-hard angst and railing against the unfairness of the universe will break that carefully built house of cards faster than aiming a fan at it.

Have faith my friends. Know that the universe knows when it is the right time for you. Be encouraged. You can do it. You are not alone. Share your encouragement here.

The world doesn’t need more safe writing. Write something dangerous — something that challenges the status quo. Something that moves you (maybe it will move others, too). Then, no matter how scared you are, share it.
–Jeff Goins, writer

Dangerous. Such a strong, fear-invoking word.

The Dangerous Book for Boys. Why do you think that book has sold so many copies? Because it hints that we will have a more exciting life by picking up that book. That we’ll toy with the sharp edge of life.

And let’s face it. We all want to live a little more dangerously. To feel that edge of fear and the thrill of being ‘dangerous’ whether it is telling that nosy nellie in the grocery store where to shove her curiosity or doing something more extreme like jumping out of an airplane.

We want to feel.

The exhilaration.

The rush.

As a writer, that feeling is a sweet high that can become so addictive. And as Jeff Goins says there are a lot of things to distract us from writing those things we love and following it, armed with passion. And why? Why?

Why? Why? Why?

So go out there and write what you love. Don’t be distracted. Don’t fear what others are going to think.

Just do it.

Love what you do.

You aren’t a writer if you aren’t writing. Live dangerously. Write with exhilaration under your wings.

How are you going to/How do you write dangerously and inspire the passion?

This post was inspired by Jeff Goins.