WEbook Contest Update

Whew, what a week! I love it when weeks streak by, and that one certainly did. Let’s see, we bought a larger second-hand vehicle this week, I started a new job, did a hefty pile of good things for friends and acquaintances (working on my sainthood here), and we put my beloved Dodge Shadow up for sale. (sniff, sniff) I even almost destroyed my computer this week. And then I discovered, it wasn’t actually me or the computer, it was Windows and a bad update. Whew! I thought I had lost everything. That would have really sucked bo-bo. In a big way.

Speaking of updates, I remembered to check on my WEbook Page to Fame submissions today. I tell ya, I’ve gotten a lot of entertainment out of those $5 submissions.

Anyway, here’s a screen shot of how I’m doing at the moment:

I’m doing much better since they’ve removed all the ‘bad’ votes. It turns out some folks were going on there and lowballing submissions that weren’t theirs. I had kind of wondered why I had the almost exact same crappy marks for two very different projects–one that had been very much edited and one that hadn’t (at all, really). Now, there is a variety in marks which is relieving and expected. The edited project is doing 4% better (it’s the 2nd one in the above image). Interesting, isn’t it?

I may have already mentioned this, but I love the fact that this contest (which allows you to submit the first page–about 250 words if I recall correctly) has opened my eyes to things I need to improve. Looking at my first page and looking at the marks that were coming in, I quickly realized my story was not showing how it was different right up front. It was, well, kind of average in its topic, if you know what I mean? Thanks to this contest, combined with a few bits of agent feedback, I have since improved my opening with a few tweaks to let the reader see that this might not be your typical girl-getting-married-and-having-second-thoughts kind of story.

I sure do love it when feedback helps me see what I need to do to push my writing to the next level.

How about you? Have you gotten a tidbit somewhere lately that’s opened your eyes to what you need to do to make your work better or make it stand out?

P.S. I’ve blacked out the contest submission titles as I don’t want folks I know inflating my marks out of the kindness of their dear little hearts. Just in case they might be tempted….

The First Five Pages: Adjectives and Adverbs

I went in my favourite book store the other day, armed with a gift card. And I found an amazing book: The First Five Pages: A Writer’s Guide to Staying Out of the Rejection Pile by Noah Lukeman. (It is really affordable–go buy a copy if you don’t have one already. Seriously. It is helpful and readable.)

I began skimming the pages as I stood there in the aisle and after reading a whole chapter, it dawned on me that this was a book that I needed to have at home and that it was not something that I could or should just take out of the library.

Now I am doing as Lukeman tells me to, which is to complete the chapter exercises at the end of each chapter before continuing on. Being a rule follower, I am obeying. So far. It is really hard to not just blow through the whole book since I am so excited about it.

After reading the chapter on adjectives and adverbs, I looked over my ‘best’ work and cringed. Oh my god. It was like the shades had been lifted from my eyes and I realised that I had been going out in the writing world with a large hole in the backside of my pants. (Or at least that is how I feel.)

In the first page of my work, I was blowing my first impression. No wonder I was getting rejected. Knowing what I know after reading those ten pages, I would have rejected myself too. I was trying too hard to create a feeling with the wrong words. I could have molded the same feeling with fewer, stronger words.

I still sit here, pulling at my hair and kicking myself. I could have done so much better! All that time I wasted, trying to sell something that was so flawed. (And yes, I am being a touch too hard on myself, but at the same time, I am very excited about it too.)

When does improving your work end? Probably never. And I am okay with that, as long as my butt isn’t showing.

Here is an example of before and after with many, many heartfelt thanks to Noah Lukeman, who is my new hero.

Before the Lukeman overhaul:

I toss the extracted rollers onto the small table that sits beside my front door and shake out my now-curled, shoulder length, black hair.

After the Lukeman overhaul:

I pitch the rollers onto the table in my entry and shake out my hair, marveling at the way it tickles my bare shoulders.

Different, isn’t it? In the original, did I really need to state that the character’s hair was ‘now-curled’? She just pulled the rollers out of her hair so we can assume that her hair is now curled. And to think, I pondered over whether I should place a hyphen between ‘now’ and ‘curled’. I didn’t even need either word! Silly, silly me.

Plus, I much prefer the change from calling her hair shoulder length to her marveling at the way it tickles her bare shoulders. Instead of just describing the character’s appearance, the words are also creating a feeling. For me, it is a sexy, rich feeling having my hair tickle my bare shoulders.

I can’t wait until I get to do the next chapter!