Where’s The Stress?: How to Break Big Goals into Manageable Bites

I have a confession to make. I’m a Type A personality. I also tend to lean towards perfectionism (although strangely enough not when it comes to things like keeping the house clean or coiffing perfect hair).

When I decide to do something I can stress myself out trying to get it right or trying to accomplish the goal right now. Do you do that, too?

My current goal is to create a stellar platform for my It’s All Kid’s Play nonfiction project. I know what I want. I know what I need to do. I can see where I want to be. And I can see the steps I need to take to get there. But the impatient little kid part of me wants to get there right now. And that is stressing me out–not the fact that I will have to toe out of my comfort zone (Yikes!) and pick up a few new skills (Sweet!).

So what do we do? How do we avoid that freak out, spin out, ulcer-creating stress?

How to break big goals into manageable pieces:

Step 1: Take a deep, long breath. I said, breathe, dammit.

Step 2: Go eat some chocolate/cookies/something soothing. (Don’t forget to come back.)

Step 3: Take another deep breath.

Step 4: Calmer? Good. Grab a piece of paper. Heck, a whole legal pad if it is a big project. Dream. Write down what your end goal looks like. Feels like. Smells like. When it is. Where it is. Everything. Let it feel goooood.

Step 5: Brainstorm all the things you need to do to get to that dream. Big and little. EVERYthing. Get it written down and out of your head so you can stop freaking out about it and you can break that long loop of “I have to do this” list that is beginning to whirl around. Don’t be afraid to write down everything–even if it feels impossible. Once it is down on paper, it might not feel as impossible (if you are still freaking, please keep reading–I’ve got you covered).

Step 6: Take another deep breath. Now think about how you can have fun doing all these things. Because if it isn’t fun, then is it really going to work for you? Are you going to be a miserable pile of hooey? Is it going to fail because your heart isn’t in it? Scratch out the things that you think you just really can’t do. It’s okay! You don’t have to be everything and anything. You have to be you. There is only one you. Make ‘you’ shine. (Sometimes hiring someone else to edit your work, build you a website, or do the bulk of your publicity is soooo worth the money.)

Step 7: Break projects into pieces. For example: You want to get 1000 Twitter followers who are actually your audience and not just a bunch of folks you followed so they automatically followed you back. That’s going to take time. Break down that type of project into pieces. Think of what you can do each day or each week to build those connections and find your audience/what-have-you. Slow and steady.

Step 8: Build a timeline. You want to have an amazing platform by summer? Figure out what you have to do each week to get there.

Step 9: More research may be required. Your brainstorming may have brought a big hole to light in terms of your knowledge base.

Step 10: Go forth, have fun, and be flexible. There will be weeks where nothing flows right and other weeks where things rock. Be kind to yourself. And be willing to readdress your plan. It may need changing. Things might come up that you want to add, remove, or change.

Step 11: Stay accountable to yourself. It’s easy to slack off when you fall into a rut. It’s also easy to keep doing the ‘easy’ things that don’t challenge yourself. Find others to keep you ‘honest.’ Check in. Keep moving forward.

You can do it!

What are your big goals? How can you reach them? Brainstorm what you can do to meet your goals.

Writing a First Draft in Two Weeks: Part 3

How am I doing in my online class and its imposed challenge of writing a first draft in two weeks? (280 double-spaced pages.) Well, it’s going.

Sorta.

Speaking of Crazy Goals…

I’ve done an awful lot in the past two weeks, except make the 280 page mark. I am pleased to announce that I am over the 200 page threshold, but with the midnight Sunday deadline approaching faster than Easter, let’s just say, hitting 280 ain’t gonna happen. I mean, sure, I’m open to miracles. But the fact of the matter is, I’m not going to drop absolutely everything in order to accomplish this goal. In fact, writing 77 pages in the next 30.5 hours would pretty much ensure I would break a whole lot of other goals. Such as my goal of being a reasonable person, my goal of keeping my family happy and fed–heck, even hanging out with my family, my goal of getting through laundry before the work week commences once again, my goal of being a non-negligent mother, etc, etc. Plus, I’m pretty sure the cat I’m sitting would get a bit pissy if I just ran into the house, flung food at her, and hurried off again. (Same goes for my family, actually.)

There is something to be said for making unreasonable attempts, such as writing 280 pages in two weeks while trying to retain a semblance of real life (and not get fired or divorced or visited by family services). There is also something to be said for making goals and doing your best to get close to them. For example, if I hadn’t tried to reach this goal, I would still only have notes as to where I wanted to go with this story idea.

So what have I learned? I can squeeze in a little writing time every day if I make it a priority. And heck, it’s still a pile of fun! (Plus, if I write up to 9:13 in the morning, I can eek into work just in the nick of time. Whew!)

The next crazy goal? To revise this puppy in two weeks–that’s the second half of the class. I wonder if it matters that it is only 207 pages long and incomplete. Hmm…

Make it Happen: Intent and Core Ideas or Goals

At the moment, I am reading Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip and Dan Heath. While I am only on page 33, I’ve come across a little tidbit that is already changing the way I plan my day.

What is the tidbit? Basically it is: What is your intent? Your core?

Come again?

Let me put it in context. Pretend you are on a beautiful island where there is no snow and it is so hot you have to order fruity drink after fruity… Oops, sorry… Pretend you are trying to set goals for yourself (or your company) and you need to simplify it so there is one core thing that speaks to the overall intent of what you (or everyone) are trying to accomplish. If you can keep that core or intent in mind, you are more likely to act in a way that is in line with that intent or core, and therefore succeed in reaching your goal.

For example, my intent and core is to obtain literary agent representation.

But how do I focus my actions, plans and thoughts to ensure I am always working towards my intent or core and don’t wander off in distraction or do things that work against my intent?

The Heath brothers suggest I ask myself these two questions (modified from page 27) when I need to find a solution or way to reach my intent/core: If I do nothing else during today’s/tomorrow’s writing day, I must ________________ (in order to reach agent representation). Or: The single, most important thing I must do today/tomorrow to achieve agent representation is ___________________.

So, what can I do today to get me agent representation? Well, since my manuscript has been edited and critiqued by three critique partners, I feel it is ready. Same with my synopsis and query. In fact, I have queries and partials out with agents. So again, what can I do today to keep me moving towards agent representation?

Well, I can ensure my blog posts are witty and engaging so agents read them and say, “Wow, this gal really has it going on. I’m going to give her a call right now.” And in case hell hasn’t yet frozen over, I can spend some time working on my online image. (Warning: Geek alert.) For example, recently my website and blog have defied the limits of my WordPress template and have undergone several poorly-constructed workarounds and patches instead of a happy-friendly-panic-attack-inducing template update and reinstall on my new provider (that’s the real freak-out-panic), leaving everything still working, but slightly screwy. Seeing as I don’t want to confuse my guests (especially lovely agents who have my phone number in their clutches) with a screwy site, today I will look into real solutions which will hopefully lead to the ‘home’ button saying ‘blog’ within the next week or so. Maybe if the WordPress template gods are smiling down upon me, there will even be a way to make the Goodreads widget work in my sidebar! Woo! Dream, geek, dream!

Now where was I? Right, the Heath brothers. They are keen to mention that no plan survives contact with its intended audience. Even if your plan is McAwesomely planned out, it isn’t going to survive contact, and especially if the intended audience does something that isn’t in the plan, like reject you. Thus, the importance of your intent or core. What do you do? You modify your plan so you can still reach your core or intent. You send out another query. Or if you keep getting shot down, modify your plan/query. Or if the intended audience says, “Too much telling in the first ten pages,” you modify your plan to fit with your intent.

It sounds simple because it is simple. The hard part is keeping that core or intent firmly in your mind and make every action you take bring you one step closer.

I’m off to snoop around at more templates. How about you?

Resolutions?

I know, I know. Resolutions can be kind of lame. People make these grand goals that everyone knows they won’t keep (the resolution maker included). Yet, there is something about resolutions that speaks to our desire to improve ourselves, and that is kind of cool.

I’m not usually one to make resolutions as I tend to make goals fro myself throughout the year. With that said, it is January 1st and I happen to have made a few ‘goals’ for myself. These goals are ones I hope to accomplish over the next two months. After that, I’ll find some new goals to replace my completed goals. Exciting stuff! Why wait until next January? You can make resolutions all year. Woo!

Resolution one (okay, this one is a goal in disguise.): Find a fantastic literary agent who ‘gets’ me and my work and woo them into representing me so we can become rich and famous together. Or at least publish a few books. And become mediocriously rich.

Resolution two: Ease up a little! This past year has been twelve months of self-performed plastic surgery by applying my nose a little too hard to the grind stone. I don’t regret the progress I have made in the past year, but I do need to ease up and enjoy where I’m at. You know, revel in the passion and laugh a little bit more.

Resolution two: Tidy up and declutter my world. As with the above two goals, I have already been working on this one. Arm loads, van loads, and car loads of not-needed stuff has already left my residence. The basement floor, I am pleased to announce, is visible once again. However, the recycle bins, second-hand store donation bins, and my freecycle.org posts are now full. Wahoo for bargain finders!

For the visual types, my world will go from this:

To this:

How about you? Any resolutions or goals for the upcoming twelve months?