New Year Writing Workout #9: Feeling, Hearing, Seeing

You know, since I lied to you once, I may as well do it again. Isn’t that what exercise instructors are all about anyway? Three more, two more, one more. Andddd ten more, nine more….

I know I promised to let you off after #7. Then I added another yesterday to make a total of 8 exercises to help you whip your writing butt into shape for the new year. Since I’ve been editing and another thing came to mind, I thought, oh heck, may as well throw this one on thee ol’ blog up as well. Why? Because it will make you a better writer, of course. (Not because I am inherently evil.)

This one, is more of a tip than an exercise. What I want you to do is to look through your work, and search for spots where you used the words I felt/she felt/he felt and I hear(d)/she hear(d)/he hear(d) as well as I see/saw, she sees/saw, he sees/saw. (Kind of sounds like a tongue twister, doesn’t it?)

Found one in there somewhere? Here’s what we’re going to do, we’re going to remove the feeling, seeing or hearing word. Why? Because when you pop those words in there, you aren’t allowing the reader to experience the sensation first hand. In fact, you are elbowing them out of the equation by filtering that sense through the character. When a reader is allowed to sense it themselves, it triggers their empathy/sympathy/identification for the situation, bringing them deeper into the story.

Examples:

Before: I felt the rain falling on my face, cooling me off. After: The rain fell on my face, cooling me off. 

Before: She heard a loud thump and jumped as she reached for the door. After: A loud thump caused her to jump. (It helps too, if you make sure the action (thump) comes before the reaction (jump), just like in real life.)

Before: He saw her take out the knife and wield it at him. After: She took out the knife and wieded it at him.

So there you go, a nice easy writing tip that won’t strain your writing muscle one bit. Easy-peasy. Aren’t you glad I didn’t stop at #7?

Enjoy!

New Year Writing Workout #8: My, His, Her, Their

Ha! I lied. I have one more writing exercise for you. I was doing edits yesterday and this HUGE flaw leaped out at me. I couldn’t make myself wait a whole year before sharing it with you guys. So put on your warm-ups, it’s action time!

Whether you’re writing first person, third person or whatever, sometimes it’s easy to slip a few extra possessives in there. In my first person stories, I noticed that I use ‘my’ a lot. As in: I went into my kitchen and got out my pots and pans to make my Killer Brownies. Yeah, Stop the bus on that one. With a little rearranging, we can make it stronger. Sometimes, you need the odd ‘my’ in there. For example, say this was the beginning of a new scene. We might want one ‘my’ in there to demonstrate that this is her house. You know set the scene for the reader and all that good stuff. However, those three mys in one sentence are killer.

After edits: I wandered into the kitchen and slowly brought out my pots and pans. It was Killer Brownie time. There are many different ways to rearrange to eliminate the ‘mys’ as you can see above. Play around and see what works for your story and your voice and what you want to achieve in your scene.

What about ‘his’, ‘her’ or ‘their’? Same thing. She went into her kitchen and got out her pots and pans… Blah. Fix it up! She stormed into the kitchen and began slinging pots and pans…etc.

Now that you know what to watch for, see if you fall victim. Some places, you can’t get around those possessives, but in some places you can eliminate the excess. Go forth and eliminate, it’s always reduction time.

Enjoy!

New Year Writing Workout #7: Comparison

Okay, last writing workout and then I’ll let you off the hook until next January. Maybe. No promises as I may circle around to check up on you. If you haven’t kept your writing butt in shape, I may be forced to post more exercises.

Moving on…comparison. Similes. Metaphors. Analogies. They all have a place in writing.

To quote Noah Lukeman (my hero) from his book The First Five Pages, “Comparison is one of the few devices that really put a writer’s skill in the spotlight because it offers the most room for a writer to “turn it on”, to indulge the limits of his creative expression.” A picture is worth a thousand words and at times, you want that reader to see exactly what you or the character sees. Paint that picture. Lukeman claims that “the proper use of comparison will enable you to cut a tremendous amount of description (which inevitably slows the book down). It will save you literally pages of work and make for a much tighter read.”

Have I sold you on the idea yet?

Some things to watch out for when you are placing comparisons in your work: too many comparisons or not enough (about one every two to three hundred words or so is probably okay); bad, cliche or overused/common comparisons (although they could have a place depending upon your work); comparisons that are not specific (make distinctions in your comparisons to aid in the picture you are painting–such as what type of tree or what type of bug?); using the wrong word or an imprecise word in your comparison.

Here’s an exercise borrowed from Noah Lukeman. Pick an item from the room you’re in and come up with five similes and five metaphors for that item. Examples: The fig tree looked like a man reaching out to grab the passerby. (Simile) The fig tree was leafless, like a stake in the ground. (Metaphor) If you want more exercises on this, check out his book, it’s great.

To add to the feel and tone of your work, you can ensure that your comparisons echo the theme of your book. For example, if one of the themes is death, your comparisons can echo that. (Just don’t over do it.)

Enjoy!

New Year Writing Workout #6: Simply the Action (Suddenly and Before)

This one isn’t an exercise in the true sense of the term, it is more like a tip to simplify the action in your writing to make it clearer and stronger.

Search through your work for ‘suddenly’ and ‘before’. You can use the ‘find’ feature to help you locate them.

Let’s start with ‘suddenly’. How do you use suddenly? Are you using it to modify a not so exciting or weak verb? Are you tapping your reader on the shoulder and saying, ‘hey, this is where things get exciting’ instead of letting the action build and explode before their very eyes?

To borrow an example from rsmellette over on AQ, which is stronger?

“Suddenly the room was full of bullies.” Or “Bullies crashed into the room.”

Which is going to move the pace of your story and get your reader on edge? Is ‘suddenly’ going to surprise them, or is the action happening before you eyes going to do it?

In most cases, writers find that they can cut ‘suddenly’ and make their sentences stronger and more compelling. Give it a whirl. How many can you cut?

Today’s other action tip came in yesterday from my brilliant critique partner and deals with ‘before’. As she puts it: “You might search for the word “before” and rewrite the sentences where you use it in the middle of an action. It seems like you write “He stood before walking to the door” when you could just say, “He stood and walked to the door.” Good call, eh? In my 30 pages I had a whopping 21 uses of ‘before’. That’s just wrong, wrong, wrong. Simply the action.

Go forth and simply my writer friends. You can do it.

Enjoy!

New Year Writing Workout #5: Shopping List

How are you feeling? Are those exercises getting your writing muscles limbered up?

Today’s exercise is odd, but fun. First things first, take a peek in your fridge and cupboards, then grab a pen and paper and write out a grocery list. If you want, you can borrow mine:

sour cream
eggs
bananas
cucumber
bread
crackers
milk

What we’re going to do is make that grocery list stand out. We’re going to make it evocative. Ready?

We’ll get ourselves started with a few themes to help us get in a ‘mood’. To make it simple for our first go around, we’ll use some of the main story genres; romance, science fiction, mystery and literary.

Let’s start with romance. Pick an adjective (or verb) for each of the items on your grocery list that shows your genre/theme. By the time you’re done your list, there should be a feel for the theme. For example, in romance you might have passionate milk or caressing sour cream, maybe some doe-eyed eggs and swooning bananas. My list is a bit silly, but it gives you an idea, particularly if you compare it against the adjectives you pick for another genre.

How would your list differ for science fiction? And mystery? Maybe you’d have screaming crackers, murdered eggs, stealth bread.

When you’re done your lists, compare them. Can you get a sense of the genre/theme or emotion you are trying to convey in each list? (Ignore the genre title.)

When you are done laughing at yourself and your list, check back with a few scenes in your manuscript and see if your adjectives and verbs are doing the work you think they should to evoke mood.

Enjoy!