The First Five Pages: Pacing and Progression

I figured out what is wrong with one of the beginnings to one of my manuscripts. I’m not leading anywhere fast enough. I keep yammering on about the same things, trying to show a certain bit about my one character and instead don’t progress the story enough. That could also be why one agent thought the story wasn’t particularly original. Well, yeah, you’re right. I can see it now, I keep having the protagonist and her friend moan on and on. After the comment, I realised where the problem was, but I didn’t know the name until last night when I read this chapter instead of sleeping.

The plot, however, I feel is original. So, that means I can go in there and do some rewriting and I can fix it. I think.

I’m like the little train that could. I think I can. I think I can.

But, I need to wait awhile. Otherwise all my characters will be murdered wholesale. It will be a virtual slaughterhouse and I will be reduced to Lady MacBeth type behaviours. “Out damn spot!” Although, I’ll be more like, “Out damn paragraph!” and “Out you bloody fool! OUT!”

Hey! It sounds like time to work on my new project again! Either that or read the book I just got on character development, as that will likely help that progression issue. Because really, I think it is the root of the progression problem. I fear that I am not illustrating just how hard up this character is for a good man, thus my need to hammer away scene after scene on this same issue. And thus the plot doesn’t get to progress. And honestly, I would hate to have to fix this type of problem AGAIN in a newer project. So I may as well learn how to avoid it before I do it again.

Still on the subject of progression, I fear (with a different manuscript) that I am not making the readers work hard enough for the story, and that I am just handing it to them. “Here you go folks. It’s like cotton candy. You don’t even have to chew.” Sweet, dude.

So, I suppose it is back to the books again, eh? It’s a good thing I just finished three books this week. (Big Bonedby Meg Cabot. And yes, Heather FINALLY gets Cooper. Thank god. I can hold off on having that aneurysm. I am one chapter away from finishing As Seen on TVwhich has been predictable, but unpredictable and good. And sadly, I am now at the end of my Lukeman Overhaul as I have now, officially, finished The First Five Pages. <Sob> That book, if I ever get published, will definitely be the reason why. If you are a writer–go buy it. Seriously. Now. Go.)

The First Five Pages: Setting

What impression do you want to make? Which details will you choose in your setting to make this impression? I’m paraphrasing Lukeman here, but I find these two ideas to be very helpful. And man, there are a lot of things to think about when writing a scene. One day, I am sure it will all be second nature, but until then, I guess I will have a lot of sticky notes pasted around the desk.

The idea of setting and details and which impression you want to make reminds me of getting ready for a job interview. There was this one time where I wanted a job as a librarian. So, I figured, if I want to get this job, I need to dress the part. I need to create the impression that I AM a librarian. So, I put on my most serious long brown skirt and a plain white silk blouse along with this awful brown vest. It was a very ‘librarian’. I drove there in my little car that was plastered with stickers and all painted up with flowers. I parked it down the street and walked in and got the job. I made the librarian impression that I wanted to make. I guess when they figured out who I really was, it was too late. Not to say that I was dishonest, because I wasn’t. But what I did was give them a visual impression. I created the right setting.

I guess that is why when I threatened to break someone’s legs (in jest) a good year or so later, they were shocked and surprised. That first impression held more strongly than the accurate one that I let slip out over time. So, I suppose, be careful what impression you create with your characters and settings because the first one sticks. From this chapter, I really liked the idea of the setting interacting and affecting what is going on in the story. Sometimes, as a person who is not particularly visual, I forget to clue the reader into things like climate, character appearances and the like. Therefore, when I have a thin setting, it isn’t able to interact and participate. I do think I am getting better at it though. For example, a TV ending up being the stimulus for relationship break-up. A couch becoming a physical barrier. That sort of thing.  However, in some cases, I think I could fall into some ruts. Twice, I have had a character slip on ice while wearing heels and have a guy catch her. The only time that happened in real life to me, my car caught me, not the guy. (Dang.)  

Part of me feels that there can be too many details which can detract from the story. Where is the balance? I suppose it all comes back to the whole focus chapter where everything adds up to the whole. If it doesn’t have a purpose, leave it out. If it doesn’t add to the cumulative effect you want, cut it. So where is the balance? When you get your head into your work, it can be hard to tell what is important and what isn’t after awhile. Details help solidify the overall impression and ground the reader in what is happening, but which ones? Which ones are doing the adding up to someone who is reading for the first time and doesn’t know what is going to happen? Tough stuff. I guess that’s why I’m not bored yet, there is so much to learn and it is different every day.

The First Five Pages: Subtlety

Okay, I can be subtle without using my words like a jackhammer. Really, I can. The biggest theme in this book at the moment seems to be: be confident as a writer and give the read some credit. Treat them with respect.

I think I do that.

At the same time, I have taken a seven page ‘excessive’ scene and made it, um, one and a half. Except now I have all this backstory and other details that I had stuffed into the scene that I have to shuffle around and disperse.

Grrr…

Does it ever end?

The First Five Pages: Hooks

I have to admit, I was savouring this chapter, sure that it would be the divine few pages that I would cherish. This would be that mystical writing key that would unlock agent’s doors.

Not.

Lukeman was surprisingly vague about how to create a good hook, what exactly can be considered as a hook and all those minor little nuances that a newbie wants. I want you to take that flowing water between your fingers and mold it into a nice solid box for me, thank you very much.

Anyway, his philosophy on hooks was interesting. For instance, a hook can be more than a traditional ‘hook’ at the beginning of the book. He expresses that it can be at the beginning of a page, chapter, etc. It can even be at the end. I like the ways he says that a writer has to use stamina to build up the hooks. Never let up as writing is cumulative.

Cool, huh?

I am trying. I really am.

On an aside, I find that I am reading slower now. I am absorbing stuff. (Yep, that elusive ‘stuff’. Very technical.) I am even finding flaws in timelines and things that could be done better in other people’s books. Now of course, I am re-reading books that I have already read several times over. To be able to do that with my own work, well good luck!

I am also finding that this week I can’t spell worth sh*t. Weird, huh?

I am thinking of entering a writing contest. (Even though I hate the idea of having to pay money to do so.) I looked at one of my pieces that I thought could do okay and as I was reading it, I came across a comparison that made me stop. (I haven’t touched this manuscript in about a month or two.)

Know what thought raced through my mind as I read that line? What writer has been in here messing with my work? I was a little peeved. Someone ELSE was improving MY work! My initial thought was that it couldn’t have been ME who wrote that. It was too perfect. It was just right. I loved it. It was EXACTLY what I thought! How did I do that? Mystical. Totally. Wow. But of course, nobody got on my laptop and messed with my first page. It was me. With some dead writer at the wheel, merely using my fingers to type.

You are welcome back anytime dead writer.

(I’m kidding about the dead writer at the wheel…I think.)

The First Five Pages: Characterization

This was an interesting chapter that reinforced some of the reasons why I have been doing some things with my characters. Now I have a sound reason to bolster myself into keeping it up. I’m on the right track! Some things, I am finding, I do because through experimentation, I have figured it out it works. Some things, I am finding, I do because I don’t know how to do them better. How to make them right. But now, I am learning. I’m getting learned. And it is a bit of a relief, really.

I love the way some of Lukeman’s examples that he has pulled from literature describes characters. They are beautiful and subtle and at the same time tell us so much about the viewpoint character, sometimes the climate even. It’s great! I feel like I will never read books the same way again. Okay, you got me, not totally true. I will get sucked in and forget and just read for the pleasure of reading, but hopefully, somewhere in the back of my mind there will be a little wheel streaming things into my memory and skill banks to make me a better writer.

I totally understand why I was having trouble with one of my opening scenes. It’s the friggin’ characterization. Others have mentioned this, but not specifically enough that it really triggered more than an ‘oh, how do I fix that anyway?’ sort of a thought. Now, I think I have the tools. I have to develop the character more as I thrust her into all this action. And the way I am describing the other character, yack. That has got to go!

So, off I go to work on that. Unless this caramel rice cake loaded with peanut butter and honey gets in my way…. It’s January in Canada and we’re in a cold snap, I need the insulation. Hell, it’s so cold my car won’t even start. (-28C / -18F with a wind chill, bringing it to somewhere around -40C (which is coincidentally where the metric and imperial thermometers meet in ‘wow, that’s frickin’ brrr’. And yes, this is warmer than yesterday. And yes, this is the warmest part of the day. But thankfully, yes, this is the coldest part of the year.)

The First Five Pages: Viewpoint and Narration

January 29th, 2008–The First Five Pages: Viewpoint and Narration
This chapter, for whatever reason seems to have stalled me out. I don’t think it was this chapter, specifically, rather just events unfolding and taking a cumulative effect.

You know you’ve stalled when you find more amusement in watching the garbage truck trying to dive through huge drifts of snow than think about your writing. Or, you know, going and meeting your husband’s cousin who happens to be on the ‘disowned’ side of the family.

Anyway, I did go out and study other viewpoints for narration like Lukeman suggests. This in fact, is part of what has distracted me for at least five days. And you know what I discovered? I discovered that the authors that are my (Chick Lit) heroes write in <gasp> first person, present tense! Eeeek! Call the writing police! They are making bestsellers and breaking a forbid rule. (Then again, the rule says you have to be a really good writer to get away with it, which evidently they are.)

But can I? Well, time will only tell, of course. But it has bolstered me enough to not go and change all my manuscripts away from first person present tense. (That and the kind words of other writers on this site.)

So, I will ignore the plows and garbage trucks and the fact that it was really fun popping our little car through big snow drifts so my hubby could get to work, and get down to work myself.

After I have some more tea. And maybe check my email.

Later…Okay, I did the exercise where you change the narration in your story. I changed a scene from first person to third, just to see what it was like. It was interesting. I may use it someday. Although, it felt like I was giving too much to the reader. I could be so definitive–that was a refreshing and interesting change. Yet, there was no real room for interpretation as I could just jump into each character and explain them. Less work for the reader. Less work for the writer. Although, I suppose once you are talented at third person, you can leave little hints and clues for the read instead of hitting them over the head.

On a totally separate vein…I saw the CBC show last night, ‘The Week The Women Left Town’. Cool premise. It appealed to the sociologist in me.

The First Five Pages: Showing Versus Telling

Although I have heard this one before, it is one that needs repeating in my ear fairly often. In fact, it is something that came out of the first chapter that I had critiqued by another writer. I was trying to get on to the good stuff by breezing over and telling instead of showing.

That gets tricky. You have to totally be mindful of your characters and their motivations all the time and what you are trying to show in every interaction and scene. I’m not that thoughtful when I write. I’m not even sure who my characters are when I first start out. I just blab on and see where it takes me and the characters. This, it appears, leads to a fair amount of editing.

This chapter made me think of a real life example from many, many moons ago. We were on our way to Mexico and we left in the middle of a snow storm. We got as far as Montana when we came up against a barricaded road. The guy at the roadblock told my dad that the road was closed and that we couldn’t get through. From where we were, the road looked fine. The interaction between the road guy and my dad went something like this:

“Sorry, this road is closed. You’ll have to turn around.”
“Is there any other route from X to Y?”
“Nope. You have to turn around.”
“Are you sure the road is closed”
“I’m sure. It’s closed.”
“How closed? It looks good. I’m sure I could get through.”
“Nobody is getting through.”
“I’m from Canada and I’m driving a truck.”
“Look, the drifts are over 20 feet high and even our snowplows aren’t getting through.”
“Oh, where can we stay around here?”

So basically, the guy went from simply telling my dad the road was closed to showing him. Not literally showing him, but giving him concrete visuals. Still telling my dad, but showing him at the same time.

The First Five Pages: Melodramatic Dialogue

It turns out that I can’t stay away from my manuscript. I did rewrite the opening scene. We’ll see tomorrow which version I like better. The totally rewritten one or the multi-edited version. My bets are on the new one. As for my characters, we had a chat and they are now in therapy.

For my writing exercises of the today…well, melodrama was interesting. I like the idea of conveying drama with silence. I actually had used silence to convey the drama of the ending of my book and it pissed of a friend that read the ms. She was like, ‘what, that’s it? I want more. Is there a sequel? Go write it. You can’t leave it like that!’ Evidently, she wanted the ending spelled out for her. Oh well. Maybe I was being a little cruel. We’ll see. As I am learning, this stupid ms will never be complete. Even though it has been for a year. And of course, now I have a new idea that is itching to be written, but I don’t feel like I can just drop all the learning and whatnot that I am doing here and go off for a month or two to write it down. I’ve got to see this through. Besides, I think the new idea needs some percolating or else I’ll end up in revision hell for decades. The revisions aren’t hell, just the never-ending part.