Reaction Phrases

My instructor, Susan Meier, from my Can This Manuscript Be Saved class had us look for reaction phrases in our work as part of an assignment. Sure we as writers try and make the reactions make sense in things like dialogue. But honestly, I hadn’t really thought of ‘reaction’ as something separate. Something that had the power to affect the whole story’s tone. Even one small word or the way they handle something (reaction) could change your perception of a character. Holy crap, the power of words. Eeek.

Anyway, I have been skimming my manuscript looking for reactions that haven’t fit right. Luckily, I my critique partner has already gone through and pointed out the areas where she wanted to slaughter characters because of…yep, you guessed it, reactions and my word choices. Yikes. Small reactions had made one of my characters into a mean friend that was very unlikeable. Who wants an unlikeable secondary character who is supposed to be a supportive friend–and is mean instead? Yuck. So really, on the grand scale of things, I’ve lucked out in this case. Still, there are the odd places where I have the wrong word or a reaction is just so blah. Or, I’ve used the wrong words to describe something. The nice thing is that by going through and skimming quickly, I don’t give myself a chance to analyze or excuse what I’ve done. I just mark it and move on. Later it will be attended to with an unrelenting eye. (Yikes.)

Right now I am reading Jennifer Weiner’s book Good in Bed. It is a good read and although I get lost in it, at times I pull out and begin critiquing it from a writers perspective, which is a really weird sensation for me–a novice. I feel as though at times there is a focus issue, which isn’t strange at all. I think this was her first book and as agent Joshua Blimes said in his AQ chat the other night, it is a common problem of beginning writers. Still, I love the story and I love the protagonist, Cannie. What makes me bring her up is that she is an AWESOME example of the great use of reaction phrases in regards to creating a fabulous, believable, and very real character.

Cannie is an overweight, heartbroken, pregnant gal. She is talking to her weight loss doctor on the roof of the medical building after she’s decided to keep the baby and drop out of the weight loss program. Anyway, they’re chatting and she’s trying to figure out his sense of humour. He says he is funny. She is in slight doubt. Here’s the reaction that really speaks to Cannie:

“Oh,” he said. “So if you were to describe yourself, you’d say you were funny?”
“No,” I sighed, looking out at the night sky. “At this point, I’d say that I was fucked.”

See? If I had been writing that, I, in all likelihood, would have continued on with the ‘I’m funny’ conversation. Instead, Weiner looked at her character and thought about what reaction would be most true to Cannie and where she was psychologically at that moment and then delivered it.

So, off I go. Checking for reactions. Hopefully, I will have some good reactions like above that really add some punch to the story. And if not, well, maybe I’ll catch them on the next pass!