Crazy Rejection Reactions

As a writer, sometimes rejections make us do crazy things. I have personally reacted all over the spectrum when it has come to the rejection of my pages, from the indifferent shrug to the all out breakdown/tantrum.

Now, I just want to take a moment to say that all my agent rejections have been exceedingly kind and complimentary–it is NOT the agent. In the reasons for my rejection, there is always that little something missing in my stories that will make it jump out in the tough market I am seem to be drawn to writing for.

Once the sting of rejection passes, what does a writer do? While I briefly consider the idea of giving up, I always return to the worn out keyboard more determined than ever. (Well, maybe not more than ever, per se, but pretty darn determined.) However, today I took an ‘extreme’ approach. I decided to go ahead and enter WEbook‘s PageToFame contest (entry fee $4.95 per entry). I didn’t just enter once, I entered twice. Yes, you heard me. I even entered things nobody else has read before. Scary. I know. Not yet tried, tested or edited.

Why did I do this? Because I want to know how a blind reader sees my work (okay, they only actually get to read the first 250 words). Yes, there are big prizes involved if you do well, but I’m not in it for the prizes. I need to know whether my pages (okay, okay, first 250 words, 200 shy of when the caca hits the spinning blades in my story, propelling everything in chaos) have the potential to stand out. And I am learning that they do not.

Story 1: 2 rankings
Story 2: 6 rankings

Reading through some of the PageToFame submissions, I can say that I feel as though I am at least average (even though my marks above say I’m below reader expectations). However, I should add that I can be a little delusional about my own talent, varying from ‘this is brilliant’ to ‘this blows multi-coloured chunks.’ As well, if someone you know has entered PageToFame and you want to judge their entry, you have to sift through quite a bit of slush until you land upon it. While readers may be tempted to say they don’t like the work just to move through to the next submission which may be the one they are looking for, there is also the very real realization that they are clicking low numbers because they aren’t grabbed by the story (or they are trying to take out their competition–women can be sneaky that way. I say women because I entered in the women’s fiction category, which is mostly written by women). Then again, I may just be making up excuses and need to get a life.

Have you been rejected? What is the craziest thing you’ve done to combat the sting and self-doubt?

When Break Ups Are Like Literary Agent Rejections

If you are a querying aspiring writer you may have noticed that at times, a rejection from an agent can sound almost like a break up line. To keep myself amused, I’ve made a little list of break up lines and their agent rejection equivalent.

(Please note: A querying aspiring writer is an unpublished writer who is emailing literary agents, asking to be theirs. In turn, they more often than not, turn around and send you back a cyber rejection. Either that, or you get the cold shoulder–no reply, because agents are like the hot chick in the bar on men’s night and are literally bombarded with more requests than they can deal with.)

Here goes (Break up lines / agent equivalent):

It’s not you, it’s me. / It’s not you, it’s the market.

I need some time to discover myself. / Your project doesn’t fit my current list needs.

I don’t deserve someone like you. / I am not the best fit/match for your project.

You are too good for me. / You have great potential, but I don’t feel passionate about your project.

I just don’t see this relationship going anywhere. / Your pages/character/story didn’t draw me in as much as I had hoped.

I don’t know what I want right now. / While I enjoyed your work, I don’t feel passionate enough to offer representation.

I found someone else. / I am not currently seeking new clients.

We need a break. / You are welcome to query me with a new project, but please stop querying me with this same story.

I think you are a great person, but…. / You show great potential as a writer, but….

I don’t think we are the best match, but you’re great and will get snapped up right away. / I didn’t make the connection with your material, but another agent may feel differently.

And two more (one of which came up in the comments section):

We’re don’t have enough in common / I don’t represent this genre.

A break up followed by a restraining order / Do not pitch to me in the washroom during conferences. / Do not jump out from behind the bushes in front of my office to pitch to me. / Do not phone me every day and convince my secretary you are a sick relative so you can pitch to me. / I am putting your email and story title in my spam filter.

If I still don’t have you convinced that romantic relationships can be like writer-agent relationships, check out the literary agency Baker’s Mark and their ‘Get to Know Us‘ page.