This is the Journey of Writing

You start out feeling a bit lost and directionless, but you know you want to do something. An idea hits you and causes inspiration that lights up the room and spins you around in its tingly clutches. That tiny, hopeful voice that plays with your subconscious when you aren’t paying attention says, “This could be big.” Glittery-eyed excitement dances around you. You dive in. Slowly, things build and your progress pushes you further and further into your project and before you know it, it has consumed you in almost every conceivable way. You are tarred to your project and bit by bit, you push yourself a little harder, and then a little harder still. Your personal expectations get a little higher, and a little higher until they begin to get elevation sickness, but the giddiness keeps you pushing. You become an endless one way street. Your relationships begin to sway under the strain, and while you see it, you can’t sacrifice what you are doing. You convince yourself you have balance and it’s all okay. Little hissy fit meltdowns that are not understandable to others begin to litter  your feebackless chamber. Small things pile up against you and your project, but they feel like boulders. The insular and individualistic nature of it all begins to eat at you and self doubt creeps in, its long, snaky fingers tarnishing everything. A bigger meltdown leaves you flailing about on the floor, but you can’t give up. You grasp at a tenuous lifeline, but next week there is an even bigger ‘what am I doing to myself’ moment that sweeps you up and bangs you around until you don’t know which wall has bruised you the worst. You shout off a cliff, your anger curled like a dirty fist. You question each and every thing about yourself, your abilities, your possibly lost sanity, and of course your project, its merit and pretty much everything connected to it. You have to throw in the towel. It’s the only way to rebalance the scales. Two hours later, it’s like the meltdowns and bruising never happened. You are up off the floor feeling as refreshed, inspired, and raring to go as if you just stepped out of a rejuvenating shower in the fountain of youth and optimism. This is the journey of writing.

–inspired by the movie Julie & Julia as Julie’s life showed me that I am not the only one who was been through this wretchedly joyous journey.