Writing Tips From Literary Consultant, Jeffrey Moores

Last Wednesday night Jeffrey Moores, former literary agent and current literary consultant, critiqued AgentQuery Connect members’ passages from their manuscripts over in the AQ chat room. He dispensed a ton of advice and tips, and 17 of those sweet writing tidbits I will share here.

1. If you can, skip using ‘first’ and ‘then’ to introduce action. It’s filler. Example: First she stood up, then she whirled around.

2. Instead of using two or three descriptor words, find one ‘good’ word that encompasses it all. His example: Instead of “sudden dead stop”, try “jerked to a stop”.

3. On adverbs (those words that end with ‘ly’): “Adverbs are usually weaker constructions that you could replace with more active verbs.” My example: He quickly ran to the store. He bolted to the store.

4. Use your verb choice to show your character. As Jeff asked, “how would grandma move across the room?” Wheel? Shuffle? Jeffrey added: “These are what I call “COMPOUND DETAILS”; those which show us an aspect of character development or theme or scene, while moving us forward at the same time.”

5. Don’t stuff a lot of details into one sentence. Do you have details you want to highlight for the reader? Focus on one per sentence and relate them to a theme or the character’s mood, etc. Justify why you are focusing on that detail. Save your details for the right moment.

6. When creating a scene, be careful how many images you throw at your reader. Allow time for them to sink in. Start with what is most pressing/important or sets the scene the best. What detail do you want to be the strongest? Give it the attention.

7. Delving into a character’s history needs to be warranted. There needs to be a reason for breaking the action in order to give some history.

8. When using words from another language or technical words that your reader may not know, add contextual clues so the reader can guess the exact meaning. Either that or use a narrator to explain what it is.

9. Hook your reader by putting the action first, then once you have them seeing a scene and wondering how your character ended up in this situation, move into telling, background, etc. to fill in the facts they need to know.

10. On other kinds of action… Actions causes reaction. Start by showing the action that propels the character and then move into the reaction. Show us what they see, then show us how they react. If something makes the main character yelp, show why they are yelping before they yelp.

11. Want to up the action? Speed things up? (Say you have a murder scene or a fight scene where you want to bring your reader to the edge of their seat and things to be happening one right after another.) Skip the ‘and’s linking those actions together. For example, instead of setting it up so this happened then that and this and this. Go for the jugular. This happened. That. This. That.

12. Early on, decide what your character’s level of smarts will be and what kind of things they will notice and in how much detail. Word choice and detail awareness create a character. For example, do they see erratic zigzags or 1 inch slices at regular intervals? Base the reaction and detail awareness on the character who is noticing the details.

13. Read aloud to hear the rhythms of you word choices, sentence lengths, etc. Anywhere you run out of breath or stumble, the reader will as well.

14. ‘Show’ when you can. Don’t tell the reader he was shocked or the mutilation was savage. Give us the details, let us draw the conclusion that this character is shocked and this is a savage mutilation.

15. Ensure your comparisons are equal. Don’t compare a cut to the bone to a papercut.

16. If you are using both second and third person point of view in your novel, break them apart so they are in different ‘scenes’.

17. You can start your novel with dialogue, just ensure that it isn’t between too many people and the scene and setting is immediately recognizable so you don’t lose your reader.

Chat and Critique with Literary Consultant, Jeffrey Moores Tonight

Hear ye, hear ye…

We are going to make you the best darned writer this side of the Mississippi tonight. Yes, that’s right, we’ve got Jeffrey Moores (former literary agent and current literary consultant) coming to chat with us on Agent Query tonight. Not only has he agreed to spend an hour and a half with us, he has 8 passages from our charming, intelligent and good looking AQ members. He will not only juggle these flaming passages, but he will catch them in his teeth, while dazzling us with his jokes.

As we enjoy our second cup of coffee/tea/gin of the morning, he is slaving over these 8 passages. He is editing, critiquing, and writing down comments to share with us tonight. He WILL make us sparkle and shine, folks.

So, what do you have to do to have this knowledge siphoned into your juicy brain? Join us! 8pm Eastern in the AQ chat room. This is the link. Click on it. At 8pm, hit ‘join’. You may have to refresh your browser if you get there before it is open. (You also need to be a member, but that is free and only takes 30 seconds.)

Here’s the plan:

I (the moderator) will introduce Jeff and go over the chat rules, etc. I will then paste one of the eight passages into the chat, followed by Jeff’s edits, comments, etc. Then there will be a chance for comments, questions, etc.. Jeff is willing to answer specific questions in regards to that piece and his comments/edits. Then, we’ll move on to the next passage. At the end of the chat, Jeff will have a general question and answer session. This is where members can ask general questions or specific-to-them questions that don’t have to do with the critiquing of the submitted passages.

Jeff is being very generous with his time and we are very lucky to have him helping us out, giving us that inner sanctum eye and showing us what kind of edits can make our work sing.

See you there!

Please note: Only the pre-selected 8 passages will be critiqued and commented upon during this chat. If you were not selected and would like feedback on your work, please contact Jeff at www.jeffreymoores.com to set up an appointment.

Jeffrey Moores Gives the Scoop on Query Hooks…and More

During last week’s Tuesday night chat, literary consultant and editor (and also former literary agent), Jeffrey Moores dropped the bomb. Agents are sick and tired of the query letter hook–avoid it at all costs. Here’s the 411 straight from the chat:

Yvonnetherese asked: How do you feel about starting the query letter with a hook sentence vs. genre, word count, etc. up front?

Jeffrey Moores replied: AVOID THE HOOK! It’s annoying. An agent instead wants simple reality: I am seeking representation for my YA novel about vampires and teenage werewolves. Put what you want up front. Be very simple.

I asked: Do many agents feel this way, Jeff?

He replied: As far as I know, all of them do. It’s very tiresome to read, over and over again, things like: “Imagine yourself in a world where…” An agent isn’t like a normal reader. They’ve got a lot more analytical wheels turning, and are more interested in your book’s place within the market and your ability to write. The actual details of your plot are only as important as your ability to frame your book within the query letter.

Well, I tell you, after cleaning all the grey matter  that had splattered all over the chat room walls during the chat, I went away and thought about what Jeffrey had said. I decided I needed a bit more info on the topic and so the next night (he did two chats for us over on AQ.) I asked for a bit of clarification. Here’s the scoop:

My question: Jeffrey, in regards to your surprising advice in regards to queries (“AVOID THE HOOK”) I got to wondering, how do YOU define a hook? Could you give us some specifics in terms of what to avoid?

Jeffrey Moores: I think that the typical “hook”, wherein a writer tries to hook an agent with a taste of the plot right away, often comes across as false and forced. Such as: “Imagine a town where nothing quite feels like it should…”

Instead, agents want to hear something like this: “My novel is a comedy-of-manners that skewers the reality of a strange town whose inhabitants seem to have no clue about the rest of the world…” or something similar. This is a more abstracted and contextualized description of your novel, and is more effective than assuming that an agent is sitting at her desk waiting to be entertained the same way she is when she’s picking a novel off of a book shelf at home.

It is still VERY IMPORTANT to “hook” an agent, but it is MORE IMPORTANT to do this through concise and effective presentation of your book’s specific themes and its place in the market, rather than drafting a sort of plot description or synopsis. Often, writers go on and on after their “hook” but fail to mention anywhere in the query WHAT TYPE OF BOOK THEY’VE WRITTEN. novel, YA, fantasy, mainstream, etc.

*******

He also mentioned to be confident in your proposal when writing nonfiction. The more confident you are, the more likely it will get picked up. As well, fiction writers should step out when writing their queries and “approach the query in a more nonfiction way”. That means, make your fiction query more about where your story fits into the market, who its audience is–that sort of thing. Which makes sense. It is a business letter. He also mentions to compare your letter to other books that are similar. Just make sure it is selling well! He provided pointers on how to pick the selling well books to compare yours to:

Very simply — go to your local bookstore and browse. Notice which books have prominent placement in the stores (front tables, end caps, facing OUT on the shelves, rather than their binding facing out). Publishers have paid for these privileges and it means that they’ve invested extra money in hopes that these books will sell well. Or, it means the book has already begun to sell well so they are pushing it further. Also, check out Amazon’s book rankings, reviews, and blurbs by other authors for that book — if five well-known authors have blurbed a given book, it’s safe to assume is better-known than a book with a blurb by only one lesser-known writer.

Both chats with Jeffrey where informative with lots of great tidbits you won’t find elsewhere. If you missed the chats, you can read the transcripts over on AgentQuery.

Literary Consultant Chat: Victims Needed

Agent Query has a chat coming up tomorrow night (Tuesday April 28, 9pm Eastern) with literary consultant, Jeffrey Moores. And as an added bonus, there is a second chat on Wednesday night (9pm Eastern, April 29). It is for the second chat that we need our victims. Oops. I mean, volunteers.

About Tuesday night’s chat: It will be a regular publishing industry chat with Jeff who will fill member’s brains with useful industry insider tidbits not normally found while sitting at one’s writing chair. How can I make such a bold claim? Well, let me tell you a bit about Jeff. Recently he began his own business as an editor and literary consultant (that means he helps people who need writing help/advice–read more on his website) after leaving his job as a literary agent at Dunow, Carlson and Lerner in New York. Yes, a former literary agent and student of literature is going to deliver the goods! That’s how I can make such bold claims.

Now, Wednesday night we’re throwing AQ chat tradition to the wind…and we need victims. I mean volunteers. See, Jeff has very graciously offered to do a live critique on 5 first paragraphs whether they be from someone’s query or manuscript. What you need to do is jump over to AQ (finish reading this first) and check out this thread where I explain everything. If you aren’t a member of AQ, become one. It’s free. Really. No strings attached. Okay, I lied. The community will make you a better writer–not a bad ‘string’, eh? Once you are a member, bravely toss your name in the hat. On Wednesday, I will have the sorting hat pick a few sacrificial lambs for Wednesday’s chat. We need a variety, so come one, come all. And if the hat doesn’t pick you, no worries, you can still join in the chat and learn a ton. So come on, put down the remote, get in your writing chair and help out your writing career.

As usual, I will be there moderating the chat, so come out and join us! It is sure to be a blast.