Trust Your Instincts: Mom Guilt and Writing

There is nowhere more prevalent where we need to trust our gut and instincts than in parenting. I mean, even more than writing–although you really need to follow them there as well!

I have to admit, sometimes I get Mom Guilt pretty bad. Right now my little guy has woken from his nap. He’s cooing softly to himself, still in his crib. While my instincts (and past experience) tell me that he is content and won’t be as content if I get him up before he calls me, I feel guilt. I am typing a mile a minute trying to get every second of “writing time” out of this nap that I can.

Why? Because I try to put it away when my kids are up and need me.

But it’s hard. Finding that balance. Meeting the needs of my family while balancing my own need to have a career that I absolutely love.

Today, I am a guest on the lovely, new, and very bad ass online magazine, The Indie Chicks. These ambitious women have spunk! It’s my first guest post and I’m pretty excited about it. What am I talking about over there? Mom Guilt (or Dad Guilt for you lovely Dad’s out there–I know you feel it too). If you’ve ever experienced it and have wondered what life is like on the other side of “super busy” then have I got a post for you!

So go grab a glass of wine (it’s 5PM somewhere), let the kids see how much playdough they can stick to the underside of the dining room table before it peels off, and click this linky to read my take on Mom Guilt and letting our kids play. And if you think I’m going to be just blowing smoke the whole time–I’ve thrown in some research too. So, educational, inspiring, and… fun!

By the way, they need writers for their blogs and this is a fabulous way to get some exposure and cross-promotional yahoo going on. (These fine ladies managed to score 1000 Facebook likes in like, no time! They are not to be messed with!)

And in case you are still on the fence, my post on the Deadly Swamp of Mom Guilt might just change your life!

Don’t miss it, and most of all…

Enjoy!

I’m rooting for you!

P.S. What brings on your Mom or Dad Guilt? What helps you survive it?

Let’s Play Tag!: About Jean Oram

I was tagged by the lovely Kela McClelland on her blog yesterday and being a grand lover of tag and all things play, I cannot resist playing along!

By the way, if you or some youngun’s you know have a hankering for a game of tag, I’ve got a couple of versions for you right here!

Here are the 10 questions Kela wants me to answer. So without further ado and all that jazz, here I go.

1. What is your dream vacation?

I’ll go anywhere! Really, for me, a dream vacation involves great people more than the weather or margaritas (or lack thereof).

2. Are you spontaneous or do you like to plan ahead?

I’m pretty spontaneous. I think that’s why I like writing as a pantster. I do a bit of planning though otherwise you end up on the top of a mountain without any water to drink. However, I find too many plans generally block out the fun because things change. You can only plan for so much. Besides, if you plan for too many things, your backpack ends up too heavy.

3. Tell us one thing you want to do but don’t dare do it.

Tell someone (read that: stranger) who is minding my business in a rude way to take a hike. For example, some buttinsky who is lecturing me in the grocery store (and ignoring my polite brushoffs) that I should be buying fruit for that birthday party, not the chips I agreed to bring. How did this become your business or responsibility, be-yotch? (Grrr.)

4. What’s your biggest phobia?

That would probably be the same as Kela’s–worries that something will happen to my kids. For example, my daughter who takes after me and sinks like a bloody boulder, is swimming with half her school today and most of her friends enjoy the deep end with their damn floating bodies. How do you think I feel right now? Yeah. Pass the percocet percodent perco… whatever.
5. If you were stranded on a desert island-what three things would you want with you? (Not including your laptop or family)

Food. Food. Water.

I watch Survivor. I know what this body of mine can take and can’t take. I’ve seen those folks suffer and unravel. On second thought, maybe I’ll switch one of those “food”s to flint/fire. But the general rule in my life is this: give me food and nobody loses their life.
6. Name three blessings in your life.

Family. Health. And always seeming to have enough.  If you gave me 5 things, I’d add sunshine and happiness because they’re pretty rockin’ too.
7. What was your nickname in High School?

Nobody dared give me one. Shocking, isn’t it?
8. If you could meet the President of the United States, what would you say to him?

Yo, I like what your wife is doing for kids in America. (She’s a big physical activity and play supporter.) Also, soo… about this health care thing.
9. If you could be any literary character, who would you be?

Chester. That cat’s got ‘titude.

Chester by Melanie Watt. Follow the link above to see my review.

10. What is your favorite quote?

“If you don’t like it, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” Maya Angelou. That dame seriously rocks.

And because you can’t tag your butcher, I won’t tag Kela back. And because I am always changing the rules… I’m not going to tag anyone right now. But wait. I’m patient. I might just reach out and tap you when you are least expecting it. It’s the way I win the game.

BUT I am going to ask you to share your nicknames from high school. You know, if you aren’t too chicken.

Mud Vs. Finger Paints

Quick note: I’m over on Calista Taylor’s blog talking about It’s All Kid’s Play, the importance of play in childhood, and the crossover from fiction writing to nonfiction writing. We’d love to see you there–feel free to drop a comment and weigh in on mud vs. finger paints. That’s right. It’s on like Donkey Kong!

(And if you are wondering about this crazy Kid’s Play thing of mine and want a little crash course and missed Jemi Fraser’s mini tour of It’s All Kid’s Play, it’s still up on her blog.)
Thanks and happy Trails!

Over the Top Blogger

I am pleased to announce that TK Richardson over at Evening Masquerade has awarded me with the Over the Top Blogger Award. As a recipient, I must answer the following questions about myself. Oh yes, we will plaster the blog-o-sphere seven or so blogs at a time. (But TK said I didn’t have to follow the rules and I’m kind of pressed for time, so I’m going to do the unmentionable (winces and checks for lightning about to strike) and not pass it on. (Sorry)

Here goes…

Where is your cell phone? uh? My bag?
Your hair? getting curlier
Your mother? alive
Your father? alive
Your favourite food? Mom’s spaghetti
Your dream last night? I dreamt?
Your favourite drink? Water. Straight up.
Your dream/goal? get my stories in bookstores
What room are you in? living room
Your hobby? reading, writing, but not arithmatic
Your fear? Loss.
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy
Where were you last night? Why do I need an alibi? (Buying a car)
Something that you aren’t? Mean
Muffins? Sure, thanks
Wish list item? Those flower clogs, Disneyland
Where did you grow up? In a schoolhouse
Last thing you did? Breathed
What are you wearing? work outfit
Your TV? off
Your pets? 2 cats
Friends? Yes, I have some. Thanks for asking.
Your life? It’s gooooood
Your mood? It’s good, too
Missing someone? Sure, it I think about it.
Vehicle? ’94 Dodge Shadow Selling it.   (See above)
Something you’re not wearing? men’s underwear
Your favourite store? MEC (Mountain Equipment Co-op)
Your favourite color? Blue
When was the last time you laughed? today
Last time you cried? Uh? December?
Your best friend? My husband
One place that I go to over and over? bathroom
One person who emails me regularly? Lots of people, I’m lucky that way.
Favourite place to eat? At the table

Thanks!

Jean Oram: Profiled

Hey, I got profiled!–in a good way. There were no hunky men at a police station trying to figure out the motivations and psychological rumblings behind the woman makes up the enigma Jean Oram. Nope, not this time.

Aspiring author and blogger, J. Lea Lopez of the blog Jello World asked me to fill out her writer’s questionnaire. Every month she shows off an aspiring darling, and as it happens, December is my month. Yes, you heard right. I am sharing words of wisdom, insider trading tips (okay, not really), what makes me tick (or write), as well as spilling the beans on my library boyfriend over on J. Lea’s blog. So pop on over, there’s free hot chocolate with marshmallows and maybe a little light entertainment.

P.S. Here’s a strange fact, speaking of Jello, I really suck at making Jello. Yes, it’s true. I don’t know why. I can make layered cakes and brownies and nanaimo bars (For my American readers, these are a three layer bar with chocolate, coconut and graham wafer crumbs for the bottom layer, thick pudding for middle, and chocolate for the top.) from scratch, but don’t ask me to make Jello (or Rice Krispie squares). There’s some weird force field around me and simple treats that most 5-year-olds can master.

See this? Yeah, I can’t do that. Now you know my deepest, darkest secrets and must share yours.