Book Review: The Guinea Pig Diaries

Book Review: The Guinea Pig Diaries: My Life as an Experiment
By: A.J. Jacobs

What if you took a father of three who edits Esquire magazine and had him run experiments on his everyday life? Well, you might find him acting on behalf of his female nanny and turning down men on online dating sites, or listening to an East Indian man reading a bedtime story to his son over speaker phone. Or how about putting his wife in charge of his every action for a month, or maybe striving to follow all 110 of George Washington’s Rules of Civility? Or scary thought–being radically honest (that’s a great way to build relationships with the in-laws). Maybe you’ll even find him posing in the nude for a magazine shoot or dressing in a tux to go to the Oscars as a famous actor (which he is not).

The lovely thing about Jacobs’ books is that you learn while you are entertained. For example, I learned a lot about George Washington and outsourcing. All while laughing my butt off at his shenanigans. With several short essays discussing his antics and the results of such behaviours, it is a book that would make a good gift for pretty much anyone on your Christmas list.

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Book Review: The Flying Troutmans

Book Review: The Flying Troutmans
By Miriam Toews

Hilarious. Yes, I actually laughed out loud. This story is filled with nutty characters with the right amount of zany to fill me with giggles. Sorry, to those in the plane next to me.

Hattie comes home from Paris after her 11-year-old niece calls, asking for help. Hattie’s older sister has gone off the deep end of crazy again. And without her water wings, the gal is sinking fast. Hattie puts her sister in the fun house and decides to take Thebie, the talkative, creative 11-year-old and the quiet, brooding 15-year-old Logan on a road trip. Why? To find their father, because Hattie knows at 27, she’s still no parent. Into the minivan they go, with Hattie and Logan at the wheel. The road trip that ensues is a journey through human nature and the nuttiest Canadians you may ever meet.

If you liked the movie ‘Little Miss Sunshine’, you’ll like ‘The Flying Troutmans’.

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Bad Logline Contest

Sometimes life is so unfair.

Guide to Literary Agents dot com is having a contest and I can’t enter because I live in Canada. Waaaaaa! That’s as bad as those silly contests sponsored by yummy ice cream treat companies that make you go online and enter a PIN plus all your personal information at your chance to win $100,000. Bastards.

Anyway, write the worst logline and he will give you a prize. He will critique your query and then PHONE you to discuss it. Holy smokes! PLUS you win a book. A BOOK! I love books! I just got six books in the mail from Chapters today. It was like Christmas. Christmas, I say!

Sigh.

So how about something lame like this for a logline:

“During a blue moon, the pink flamingo ornaments on Evelyn’s yard come to life, but she soon finds that not only are her rapidly overgrown prize-winning pansies in danger of getting her disqualified and ridiculed at the national flower show, but her pure bred Schnowzer seems to be pregnant–and she was spayed years ago.”

Okay, that was really lame. But can you out-lame me? The challenge is on. You can bet I will be watching the comments section over at Guide to Literary Agents. And if you are an American, you have until the end of the month to try your hand at lameness on their site. Even the agents are getting in on it. Good luck to you all

Slobber is the New Black

For all you fashionistas, this just in: Slobber is the new black. Yes, you heard me correctly.

My daughter (age five) was playing a slobber game this weekend with one of my husband’s friends and for whatever reason, she decided to declare slobber as the new black. And yes, I just about peed my pants laughing when she declared this in a very serious manner after her slobber game was called to an end.

I also almost peed myself when she told another of my husband’s friends that ‘she was pretty confident’ about something or other. He informed her that she was ‘too young to use words like confident’. Her reply: ‘Goo goo, ga ga’. Timing is everything. So is the immediate location of washrooms.