Legit Literary Agents and Scammers: Tools to Separate the Two

Seeing as I use the searchable Agent Query database whenever I decide to query a project, I spend little time worrying about ‘fake’ agents or scammers. However, scammers hooking unsuspecting writers happens everyday and it is worth gaining some tools on how to identify the ‘bad guys’.

Over on Pub Rants, blog by agent Kristen Nelson, she discusses scammers and the handy websites Writer Beware and Preditors and Editors. She made a call to those of us with blogs to mention that scammers are indeed out there in case we have newbies checking out our sites. (It’s nice to know someone is looking out for us, isn’t it?)

Basically, an agent should never ask for money. (Check out the excellent article by Victoria Strauss for more tips on how to spot a scammer.) Agents get paid when you get paid. That means, you pay them NOTHING until they have made a book deal with a legitimate publisher. Now, some agencies do ask for a small fee to cover office expenses. However those fees should not be asked for upfront. Generally, they are taken off your cut of the book deal and should be mentioned in the contract you sign when you land your agent. And yes, it is common for agents to ask for 15% of what you make on book deals as their cut and 20% from foreign deals. It may seem like a lot at first glance, but agents work very hard for that money and in fact, often you wouldn’t even earn that 15% if you were dealing without an agent. Fact: agents almost always get a better deal for writers than writers do for themselves. Look at that, your agent just paid for him or herself AND you have more time to write and less worries. Awesome!

(If you are new to the game and aren’t sure what sort of things to expect from an agent, check out agent Rachelle Gardner’s list of things to expect of an agent and a couple things not to expect. They are worth checking out. As well, agent Ethan Ellenberg has an excellent article on how to pick a good agent.)

Back to scammers. If you are looking for an agent, you can also check to see if they are a member of AAR (Association of Authors’ Representatives) as those agents HAVE to act within the association’s code of conduct. That is NOT to say that if an agent is not a member that they are going to scam you. No, AAR is just another way to help you sort through your pile of potential agents. As well, check out Agent Query for a good agent. Check writer boards like Absolute Write Water Cooler and of course, the already mentioned Preditors and Editors and Writer Beware. You can also check out books on literary agents at your local bookstore like this one or this one.

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Cash and Romance

You see…the problem is nobody’s kids are nearly as cute or endearing (or endurable) as your own. With that said, there is nothing more soul searching than the desire to wring someone else’s kid’s neck.

I think I am in a mood.

I would love to sell a book. But how do you do that? Well, I thought, heck, I’ll send it to Red Dress Ink. In fact, their wonderful website (Division of Harlequin) has great writer resources. The appeal of Red Dress Ink was that I had read some of their books and thought, hey I can write like that! (Even though I’d like to be more of an aspiring Meg Cabot—she TOTALLY rocks.) Anyway, I made sure my story was within their guidelines, blah, blah, blah. Sent it off as their website stated that you don’t need to be represented by an agent and so, I sent the package off.

Guess what? Their website is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY out of date. Doh! They no longer take unsolicited manuscripts, blah, blah, blah. Ouch. Okay, well, that sucks.

It reminds me of the time I wrote three, hard-packed articles with facts and reasons and no fluff for a newspaper (offering me, what was it?–$15 per article) only to be told to make them fluffy and cheap and to also interview people and basically put in at least 5 hours of work into the article. Sorry, pal. I haven’t worked that hard for $3 per hour since…well…never. Dead end.

So, now I am looking around for an agent. Someone who can get me in the door. Because, it seems like nobody (publishers) want chick lit. Unless they are a big company and then they want to go through an agent. And as I am learning fast and painfully, Canadian agents don’t seem to want romance writers and chick lit is…you got it…romance. <sigh> I feel like I am going in circles. Only I’m not actually in the circle.

So just an aside here, are Canadian writers and agents and publishers really that serious? I mean, Canadian readers will read anything. It’s not all Atwood and her wannabes. Not that there is anything wrong with that. We own just about all of Atwood’s books. But if you look around on an airplane, what are Canadians reading? Well, it isn’t all literary. Unless Grisham is now literary. So…where is the Canadian representation on this? I am thinking I am going to have to go seeking outside Canada in order to get published. And I want to be published. I want people on airplanes reading MY stuff. And I want them laughing so hard they have to wipe the tears off their cheeks and writing me emails asking me to please put out more books. That’s what I want. Now I just need to go get it.

So, how does this all work? Is there a romance underground that I don’t know about? Romance is like, well, crazy popular. (And sells.) But everyone wants an agent. But Canadian agents don’t want romance writers. (But you know, if I got an American agent in say New York, then I would finally have an excuse to go see the Big Apple.)

Damn. Maybe I should just put my head in gear and write something literary. You know something my grandma would approve of.

But, I don’t wanna.

My other grandma would love my chick lit. But she’s dead. Can you commune with the dead? I can’t. Maybe I should buy an Ouija board. I need someone in my corner who will use the ‘f’ word when I need a good kick in the pantaloons. Although, I do have some people in my corner who would do that and the plus side is that their ashes aren’t mingling with the bees in the apple orchard. That is a plus when it comes to the ease of communing.

Satellite radio rocks. Did you know that? It does. I love it. I particularly love Coffeehouse on Sirius radio. I love Jack Johnson. I could marry him. Except, well, I am already married and I’m not into bigamy. And well, I’ve never actually met Jack Johnson. He’s super sexy in the Curious George movie music video, but in real life he could be a real weeny. I doubt it, but it could true. Anyway, there is lots of good stuff and no commercials.

Nice, I just read on the Writers’ Union of Canada that there are about 30 literary agents in Canada. That would explain a few things…not to mention be a TAD discouraging. How the heck am I EVER going to get published? <Insert HUGE sigh here.>

I finally figured out the lyrics to the classic Motley Crue song “Smoking in the Boys Room” while singing it out loud with my husband. I had always wondered what the ‘louders room’ was. Turns out it isn’t ‘smokin’ in the louders room’, it is ‘smoking’s not allowed in school’ or something to that effect. Makes more sense. And I suppose if I had really paid attention, and maybe listened to the lyrics a little more while listening to it on my walkman while mowing the lawn…well, I wouldn’t have been the 31-year-old moron in the vehicle singing lyrics for years (decades) that really, make no sense. But, I suppose that is me. I question weird things, but not what the hell a ‘louders room’ is. LOL.