The Problem of Bobbing Heads

Lately, I’ve come to realize that I use ‘nod’, ‘nodded’ and ‘nodding’ too often. In a way, it is lazy writing. In another way, it is a character mood-check shortcut for the reader. But either way, with 57 instances of the word in my manuscript, am I running the risk of having bobbing head characters?

I am leaning towards, yes. It is too many nods. (I have cut some out before that count, if you can believe it.) The question is, where do you need a nod, and where would a different action work better?

Men tend to nod to show they agree with what someone is saying. Women tend to nod to show they are listening and to encourage the speaker to keep talking.

In my manuscripts they nod because…well, I’ll share a few examples–some that work and some that don’t.

First ‘nod’ in my manuscript. Page 12:

“Beth.” He gave a sharp nod and glanced at the chart in his hands, even though she was sure he’d already committed its details to memory.

I like this nod as it characterizes this uptight doctor. It can stay.

Second instance. Also page 12:

After a brief silence, he asked, “Are you doing okay?”
Beth nodded numbly. What else was could she do? Fall into the perfect doctor’s arms and cry so hard, snot flew from her nostrils?

Okay, I think this one works too. Because she is distraught (fiance in a coma) and basically, doesn’t want to speak and is in shock.

Third instance. A page later:

“Oz’s father, Barney, was not as lucky as Oz.”
Beth nodded and blinked.
“He didn’t survive his injuries from being thrown from the car. The medics were able to revive him on scene, but a heart rate could not be sustained.”

Would she really nod? Probably not. I cut a whole bunch of ‘reaction’ out of here, leaving the blinkin and noddin. (Winkin was cut, in case you were wondering what happened to him.) Looking at this snippet, I think it would flow better without anything from her. Just him talking.

A random instance:

She paused to glare at Katie. “Are you trying to get my goat?”
Katie laughed and nodded. “A little.”

Does she really need to nod here? No. A laugh combined with her words gives us what we need to know–she’s copping up to teasing the lady.

Here’s an example of a nod where one woman is encouraging the other to keep speaking:

Katie leaned forward and spoke softly, “I’ve changed my mind about getting married.”
Mrs. Wilkinson nodded, her eyes bright.
“I know Will’s going to propose. And it’s all good.”

The nod can stay.

And here is one that could be switched for a better action:

“Will you do it?” Katie asked.
“Of course, I will. So tell us, was it cheesy?” She nodded towards the oak. “Gran said you had worries.”

Is she really nodding to the tree, or is she tilting her head towards the tree, or gesturing to the tree with her chin? Probably the latter. It takes more words, but creates a better picture.

How many nods do you have? Do you fall back on certain gestures? (My characters used to ‘look’ everywhere and at everyone.)

UPDATE: I went through looking for ‘nod’s and removed over 20 of them. I doubt they will be missed.

The First Five Pages: Characterization

This was an interesting chapter that reinforced some of the reasons why I have been doing some things with my characters. Now I have a sound reason to bolster myself into keeping it up. I’m on the right track! Some things, I am finding, I do because through experimentation, I have figured it out it works. Some things, I am finding, I do because I don’t know how to do them better. How to make them right. But now, I am learning. I’m getting learned. And it is a bit of a relief, really.

I love the way some of Lukeman’s examples that he has pulled from literature describes characters. They are beautiful and subtle and at the same time tell us so much about the viewpoint character, sometimes the climate even. It’s great! I feel like I will never read books the same way again. Okay, you got me, not totally true. I will get sucked in and forget and just read for the pleasure of reading, but hopefully, somewhere in the back of my mind there will be a little wheel streaming things into my memory and skill banks to make me a better writer.

I totally understand why I was having trouble with one of my opening scenes. It’s the friggin’ characterization. Others have mentioned this, but not specifically enough that it really triggered more than an ‘oh, how do I fix that anyway?’ sort of a thought. Now, I think I have the tools. I have to develop the character more as I thrust her into all this action. And the way I am describing the other character, yack. That has got to go!

So, off I go to work on that. Unless this caramel rice cake loaded with peanut butter and honey gets in my way…. It’s January in Canada and we’re in a cold snap, I need the insulation. Hell, it’s so cold my car won’t even start. (-28C / -18F with a wind chill, bringing it to somewhere around -40C (which is coincidentally where the metric and imperial thermometers meet in ‘wow, that’s frickin’ brrr’. And yes, this is warmer than yesterday. And yes, this is the warmest part of the day. But thankfully, yes, this is the coldest part of the year.)