The Universe Gets Even

Today’s Life Lesson: When the universe zags, it is best if you zag too.

What a week. I’ve had weeks like this before, but they never cease to amaze me.

On Tuesday I managed to break my water glass with a plate at breakfast time. Just a simple clink and SMASH! Okay, that’s a whoops. Later, doing my hair after getting out of the shower, I grab my husband’s mouse container and squeeze a bit out, only I break the whole dispenser bit right off the top. CLICK! Broken.

Okay, now I know something is up. I have broken two items very easily since getting out of bed less than an hour and a half ago. (WOW! Maybe there was a nuclear disaster over night and now I’m a super hero! Not.)

Next stop, to the city. I pause outside the car. I’m taking my hubby’s baby. The VW Golf. Do I dare? I look over the car. Will I really do it in? Can we afford for me to take it when I am breaking things?

I think back to the day I did in the shower in my apartment, my skirt zipper and then jumped in my car to go to work. That was the last time I ever drove that car.

I think back to the day where I did in two blue trucks in one morning. Then my parents gave me the blue car…

So, is this really a break three things day, or is it just a coincidence? And if it is a break things day, is a three day or a four day? Hmm… I look over at the other car sitting there looking all tempting. Hmm… I look at the VW. The carseat is in the VW. VW it is.

So, how far did I make it? I made it to the city and back. But, I had my third break of the day after only about 10 minutes on the road. Should I pass this semi or fall in a distance behind? I remember considering it. Should I stay in the pass lane and go faster than I want to, or slow down and fall in a few hundred yards behind it?

I opted for behind and got a nice, big, hard rock dead center of the driver’s side of the windshield. There’s number three.

So, back to the original question, is it a three or four break day? By now I am repeating the mantra in my head that goes something like this: I am at one with the universe, I am at one with the universe….

So, am I done breaking things? Am I back in synch? Was the universe trying to tell me something? Like that day I went to go see my sister-in-law who lived less than two hours away and the trip took me ten hours, but I never got more than an hour and a half away from home? Yeah, there were lots of signs telling me not to go after I looked back over that morning’s events.

It turns out that I was done, but I had passed it on to my daughter. We got home and she wanted to fly her kite. Before or after lunch I had asked. Before. So out we went. 2 minutes later…kite broke. Just a simple PLINK up there in the sky. Her little princess kite drifting off into big piles of muddy dirt.

Yes, I retrieved it and gave our glue a workout. We’ll see if it sticks. (Come to think of it, I have had an awful lot of things to glue lately…)

So, I thought the universe and I were done.

We so weren’t. I only moved on to new avenues. Called technology. All issues (cross your fingers) seem to have miraculously resolved themselves (knock on wood). But, I did have a day without internet *gasp*. Plus, a little ghost icon in my taskbar for a day or so. And multiple freeze ups. I am notorious for causing computer freeze ups. I should really be some sort of a tester for a computer company. Anyway, up to now, my hubby’s old Compaq has been invincible for me to freeze up. Finally, a piece of technology that can keep up to me and my I-need-it-now-and-here-and-this-too-while-your-at-it computer needs.

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, I finally messed it up. Multiple scans for this that and the other thing—nothing wrong here. Huh. Well, I never…

So now, running beautifully. Maybe because I went and griped at my poor best bud who serves as everyone’s ear. Oh, and did I mention my tech guy (hubby) is out of town for a couple of days? Yes, and coincidentally, computers problems began before he was even 5km from home.

He’s like my tech good luck charm, but with only a 5km radius or something.

As well, the universe has something against either K.D. Lang or Belly Dancing DVDs. If you find out which, could you let me know?

You see, I have tried to order a CD and a DVD set and a novel two times. When I get to check out. Poof! No more Internet connection. Interesting. Anyway, not 12 hours later, I try again. Novel is now sold out. But, DVD set is now $5 cheaper. (Sweet.)

Oh, god. I am now downloading office 2003 updates. This will slow down this baby for me. Always did with my old Toshiba. That poor thing. Cross your fingers and do a little prayer for me.

Anyway, back to my story (a little multi-tasking going on here. BTW, did you know multi-tasking is actually a woman thing? We’ve been doing it for eons. At least mothers.) So the novel is gone, the DVDs cheaper. YES! So, then I remember that I have yet another gift card upstairs!!! (I’m on the last remaining workable computer in the basement by now.) Go and get it. Dodidodido. Get it unloaded on the site. Yes! $30 in gifts now for moi! I love books. Hey look! The new Harry Potter is dirt cheap if I order it now. It’s like half price. Yippee! I’ll take that too. And on to check out.

No connection. Sh*t. Not again.

Anyway, eventually gave up. Reset our equipment a few times before that and stupid, stupid, stupid, flicked off the power bar to do a reset before realizing that yes, the poor, poor computer is plugged into that power bar too. Don’t say it. The universe already has. And it has oomph.

So, eventually as I said, I gave up. And then after no phone (we have VoIp) for most of the day, I finally give in and call Shaw to see if the Internet is down in the area (lots of rain and lots of construction). Well, no. It is fine, but as I said earlier, I am stupid, stupid, stupid.

Okay, it isn’t the universe hitting me over the head anymore. It’s just me being dumb. So, yeah, basically, he told me how to reset the modem. I know how to do that, by the way. But, somehow, I failed to notice that it was no longer one of the many blinking boxes hooked up to the power bar. No, no. It is the nice blinking black box that has been moved to the other side of the room and is behind the big chair.

I was his dumb female of the day caller. Oh well, we all have to take turns, right? Well, today was my turn. So, yes. I had Internet after that. Sporadically. Now, funny thing. It seems to all be okay.

And no, I haven’t tried to buy that stuff online yet. I don’t exactly have my courage back yet.

So what did I do instead of the Internet and network dependent stuff that I was going to do today? I mudded and sanded the bathroom walls. And I must say that I did a very nice job, thank you.

So what was the universe trying to say to me today? Get off your couch loving butt? I don’t know. I wish I did. The universe is something I want to be in tune with.

Anyway, I think (hope) the universe is done punishing me over the technology stuff, although I haven’t yet seen if the show I recorded with the VCR worked or not. Cross your fingers for me, will you?

I’ve got to restart my computer to let the updates take effect. Wish me luck!

P.S. I love you, universe! XOXOXO