Radio ADD

Radio ADD is a real and very serious disorder. So serious that I felt the need to climb out of my warm bed in order to share my story with you. At this point, there is no known cure for Radio ADD.

Here’s my story:

I’m not sure when I became first afflicted by Radio ADD, but it was in my childhood sometime. I can trace its roots back to my parents listening to CBC throughout the house. In fact, it was often on all hours of the day and could be heard in every room of the house. Every vehicle’s radio was tuned into AM 1010. I wasn’t even sure that the vehicles could pick up other radio stations until I got my driver’s license and could drive on my own, scanning through the stations. I recall the sheer delight when I discovered Zed 99 at age 16 through the truck stereo–I was stuck with CJAY 92 and 107 (and its varying call letters) at home on my own stereo. The dial on my own stereo never graced the AM dial, nor the FM regions that leaned towards CBC territory (CBC even stalks the FM dial). I always stayed safely in the middle where rock and roll hung out.

I didn’t realise that I had Radio ADD until I was in my 20s, although the signs were obvious by age 19. The summer I was 19, I remember impressing a friend by scanning through stations, listening for the first few riffs of a song and then declaring the song title and artist. If a person began talking on the station, I instantly hit the scan button. I was no longer able to listen to voices on the radio–not even advertisements.

By my mid-20s I had a sure case of Radio ADD. I was worse than a man with a TV remote during the commercials. I’d hear a DJ and I’d have to hit the button. I had to. If a song came on that I didn’t like, I had to scan. If the song didn’t fit my mood, I had to scan. It became a serious affliction that reduced my attentiveness as a driver. I had one tape that I could listen to over and over as I drove long distances. It soothed me. Fast song, slow song, fast song, slower song… And then the tape was thrown away in a clean-up fit initiated by someone else. I have never been the same on road trips.

This disease has reduced me to the point where I cannot stream in music. There is no ‘skip’ button when you are streaming music. I can’t skim through for the song I want. I can’t listen to regular radio. The DJs drive me batty. And all the stations ‘talk’ at the same time–on the hour, etc. During those times, scanning is useless. Satellite radio is still my only hope. It isn’t a cure, but it soothes my symptoms. No DJs on the Coffeehouse, but after 18 months, the playlist is wearing thin. I have to find a new station. Somewhere with new music that doesn’t annoy me.

At this time I can still no longer listen to CBC radio. It has become a physical limitation of which I cannot seem to overcome. I try to listen. I do. Even the most interesting story that intrigues me eventually gets tuned out. After all these years, my ears are worn out when it comes to CBC. When my husband has it on, I tune it out. I try to listen, but I can’t. Before I know it, I have turned it off. Few people understand.

So until the cure is found for my Radio ADD, I will be flipping stations whenever a DJ comes on, tuning out CBC and skipping stations repeatedly, driving my family to the edge of insanity. Please, somebody find me a cure. But as Joan Osbourne says, “What if the cure is worse than the disease?”

Magic Time

So as I have mentioned before, my husband has this magical power over electronics whereas I have the power to kill electronics. Evidently, all I had to do to get the radio fixed in my car was to take him for a drive and *poof*, it started working. Just like that.

With our powers combined….

As well, I decided instead of buying some new clothes (which I really need as I haven`t bought jeans or shirts in about a year or so and I`m starting to look a bit tatty) I would buy some music. And then I couldn`t decide what to buy. So, I bought a whole pile (online). I bought Ella Fitzgerald (x2 with Louis and the gang), Sara Bareilles (reminds me of Fiona Apple), Sheryl Crow (my fav) and Jack Johnson (his new one). My hubby was a little peeved that I bought a whole pile of music. But honestly, it is a whole lot cheaper than the big screen TV that he wants. And I bought some stuff that he would like. Don`t think I didn`t see him toe tapping away while he burned CDs so he could put the music on his laptop, oh, and his mp3 player.

Speaking of the music, it wouldn`t all download properly. I got around that, but then I ran up against the whole licenses problem which for whatever reason wasn`t letting me burn all of the songs to CD for a backup. So, I had hubby come over and of course the computer then acted perfectly fine. Oh well, I now have music everywhere I go.

I might just have to turn things up….

Fool Me

Ha! Foiled!

He thinks he can fool me….

Okay, so it has taken me a few months to figure out how to shuffle a bunch of albums in the music player because there wasn’t a button in the drop down menu and you can’t hit ‘shift’ and click to select a couple. My hubby said he wouldn’t tell me when I asked him how. He said somewhat mysteriously that he wouldn’t reveal all his secrets. But I knew it could be done.

Well, ha!

I figured it out. I hit ‘control’ and click! Now I can shuffle Nora, Paolo, Johnny and The Presidents!

Ha!

Now if only I could turn off those pesky foreign accents.

TV Land

You know, it must be fall. There is actually TV on that I don’t mind watching. Well, how about that?

You see, I’m not much of a TV person. In fact, when we moved into our new house, I asked my husband to choose between satellite TV or high speed internet. Guess what he chose? The smart boy. So, basically instead of losing him for hours in front of the TV, I lost him for hours in front of his computer.

Oh well.

Anyway, here are a few shows I’m watching sporadically.

How I Met Your Mother: Pretty darn good. I really like Barney. He’s funny. Mr. Wait For it. Although, I am already noticing that this season isn’t as good as last season. I really liked the sardonicness of last season.

Gossip Girl: I read part of the series and can I just say that Blair (on TV more than in the book) is absolutely amazingly evil? Like oh my god. No wonder adults are afraid of teenagers. This girl is scary! I’m not really watching it much anymore though. It’s losing it’s appeal, I suppose. It is the whole other world, other life, people with money in New York thing which, to me, is getting a bit old. Not to mention that it really isn’t that interesting in the first place. Maybe it is the farm girl in me.

Private Practice: I have only caught a few minutes of this and it intrigued me. So, I have an hour of it recorded that I need to get around to seeing. And as a bonus, it has that guy from Wings in it and he was healing people with rocks. I’m all over that.

The Office: What do I need to say, but that the boss guy is kind of sexy he is so innocent and wanting to do good. A bumbling loser, but a loveable one. I love it when he says stuff like, “My own two girls that I hope to have one day really like that show too.” Or, “Yeah it is hard to balance work and time with my wife and kids that I hope to have one day.” And the characters are just good. They are real.

Survivor: This one is a habit. I’ve been watching this one for, well, since it came out in 2000. The immunity idol thing in this season is pretty good. But, I think they should rearrange the tribes more often because really, the castaways rarely switch sides and then some of the good people get booted off just because of the numbers game.

The Amazing Race: This one just started up again and I am glad to see that the guy who was like, “Karma is a bitch, but I’m a bigger bitch” got bitch slapped by Karma and was the first one eliminated. Go karma!

Desperate Housewives: Okay, so it is not as pithy as it used to be. Still, they are getting a few good one liners in there. And some ‘problems’ you just know is going to blow up in someone’s face and all you have to do is wait. It is pretty crazy the things that the characters get into. Not exactly realistic, but amusing nevertheless.

The Rick Mercer Report: I love Rick. I think I’ll join his little Facebook account thing where it is ‘Rick Mercer for Prime Minister’. I am all over that. But what I wonder, is where does he find all those alleys with such bright coloured graffiti. Is it the same alleys over and over again and I just haven’t noticed?

Pushing Daisies: Or is it ‘Pushing Up Daisies’? I couldn’t care less. I tried watching it as some commercial was raving about it. Well, whatever. It never captured me. I tired it, I didn’t like it, don’t make me watch it.

Brothers and Sisters: There seem to be a lot of brothers and sisters wandering around in this ‘oh, it is all so dramatic’ show. Yak. Spare me. I’d watch soaps if that was what I was into. Which I’m not.

In the music world: Paolo Nutini again. I guess, if I had thought about his last name more and ignored the fact that his singing accent sounds East Indian (to me), I would have gone, ‘oh. Nutini. ‘ini’ like in Lamborghini, Linguini, Fettuccini and all those Italian ‘ini’s and thought he was Italian too. Even though he is Scottish. But really, what does it matter, other than the fact that I thought there might be a little bit of variety in the white guy singing thing. And there isn’t. He’s white.