Check it Out: If God Was One of Us (A Writer)

Over on AgentQuery Connect, Robb Grindstaff (wonderful, talent, and humourous Robb–who is definitely going to make it as a published novelist) has posted a little scenario of what it might look like if God were a writer trying to get published. It’s a fun little something to make you laugh on a lovely Sunday morning. Here’s the link.

Enjoy!

Writer Rock Video: Eye of the Agent

Today, I was going to write something deep, profound, and inspiring for all you writers out there… but then I watched a video made by writer Jenny Martin and realized I could just rest on her heels today. She’s put all that deep, profound, and inspiring stuff in a fun rock video set to the music of Eye of the Tiger.

Eye of the Tiger was my favourite song as a kid. My brother dubbed it over and over and over again on my little red Lady and the Tramp cassette. So much for the We Siamese song or reading along with the book. It’s was all Eye of the Tiger, all the time.

Oh, the things us writers do to procrastinate.

Now, go forth and view this rock video. Now.

Didn’t Get What You Wanted For Christmas?

Fear not. The local movie store has you covered…

The small print says: See store for details. (Two times. They really want you to go in so you can fall in love with all those adorable little smiles and pleading eyes.)

I have to admit I am immensely tempted to run in and ask for two. Do you think I can choose their ages? 3-year-olds are a total blast with their creativity and goofiness. Boy or girl, it doesn’t matter. I’m quite curious where they got this stock pile of kids and what do they do with them when the store closes. And of course, I am pretty darn curious about how the store employee will react when I ask for my free kids. I’m fairly certain I will not receive two kids as requested, but instead, an unimpressed stare with maybe a few blinks thrown in for good measure.

Oh, well. The sign has kept me cracked up for hours. I guess that will have to do.

Just in case you are thinking the dirty player Jean might be pulling one over on you, here is a shot with more of the accompanying windows so you can see I didn’t just grab the sign out of context (Not that I would ever do such a thing):

Are You a Book Slut?

Last night, a bunch of us writers got together and filled the AgentQuery open chatroom with Margaritas, our brilliant minds, and of course, our equally fantastic personalities.  Feeling secure in a group of like-minded friends, I came out of the closet. Okay, okay. I didn’t. I was outed by someone who recognized the signs. Today, with the support of my AQ friends, I have the courage to do this publicly.

I, Jean Oram, am a book slut.

Yes, I know. *bows head* A bit of a shocker, isn’t it? Throwing the ‘S’ word around like that. I know I’m not the only one out there. Therefore, I say we should unite and reclaim the ‘S’ word. Say it loud and proud, “I am a book slut.”

In my desire to help others, I  have created a quiz with some of the common symptoms of book slut behaviour. If you have one or more of these symptoms, you too, may be a book slut.

Does this sound like you…

1. You read more than one book at a time, sometimes even more than one in a day.

2. You can’t pass a table of discounted books without feeling that you might be missing out on something really good.

3. You belong to at least one book club.

4. As you are nearing the end of one book, you are already thinking of the next one.

5. It stresses you out that there are more delicious books in the world than you can possibly read.

6. You will read anything. If it is a book, you’ll read it. And probably even enjoy it.

7. Book workers, i.e. booksellers and librarians, know you by name.

8. For you, reading isn’t just an in-bed-before-you-fall-asleep activity, you will also read in public if the opportunity arises.

9. You carry books with you–just in case you find an opportunity for a quickie.

10. You try to hook others by gifting books or by promoting your favourites by saying things like, “Everyone is reading this and they love it. Just try it.”

11. You will take a free book even if you aren’t interested in it.

12. There aren’t enough bookshelves in your house to hold all your books.

13. Friends describe you as an ‘avid reader.’

If you replied ‘that sounds like me’ to 1-2 of the above, you have begun exhibiting signs of being a book slut. There is no immediate cause for concern.

If you replied ‘that sounds like me’ to 3-5 of the above, you are in significant danger of developing into a book slut. If symptoms worsen, seek support. You do not need to go through this alone.

If you replied ‘that sounds like me’ to 6-9 of the above, you are a book slut. Seek support immediately.

If you replied ‘that’s sounds like me’ to 10-13 of the above, you are a book slut of the highest order. There is no hope for you. Embrace your book slutishness and repeat with me (loud and proud), “I am a book slut!”

Wed-ness-day

I’m happy to say I don’t have to deal with this kind of thing.

Get out of a blind date.

And

Psycho–I think I know this guy..

All I gotta say is: OMG.

My Day Will Come…Or So Says My Fortune Cookie

I was eating Chinese food a few days ago and my fortune said that in 3 months time what I have been working towards will happen. That means something great is going to happen on October 24th. Mark your calendars. Book the fancy table at the restaurant for me. The 24th is my magic day. Now all I have to do is sit back and wait. Or you know, keep working towards making it happen.

I love fortune cookies.

(This sign is just another reason why I loved Alaska.)

Am I Supposed to Be Turned On Or Giggly?

Poor Nora Roberts. She writes very popular books and has managed to get four of her novels made into TV movies. However, when they designed the movie posters they managed to bring out the mocking side in their target audience. (Yeah, that would be me. The girl you can’t take anywhere. Why you may ask can you not take me anywhere? Because I can’t take some things seriously. For evidence, see below.)

“If you pull my sweater off my shoulder one more time, I’m gonna give you the worst purple nurple of your life!”

 “No, really. I think I’m going to hurl.”  

 “I hate to tell you this, but I think I swallowed your necklace while we were making sweet love.”    “I think it’s cat puke.”

Hero Jean

This is SO COOL!

This is me, I’m a super-hero now:

Isn’t that SO COOL! I got to make her, er, I mean, me. If you want to be a super-hero too, check it out. It’s way better than working. I, er, I mean. It’s great to do during a coffeebreak….

Later Note: My daughter joined the hero forces:

Since the family that saves the world together, stays together, here’s my husband:

Check out the brain on that guy.

Unfortunately at this time, our cats could not join the Oram Family World Saving Forces (aka OFWSF).