I have to admit, sometimes I get Mom Guilt pretty bad. Right now my little guy has woken from his nap. He’s cooing softly to himself, still in his crib. While my instincts (and past experience) tell me that he is content and won’t be as content if I get him up before he calls me, I feel guilt. I am typing a mile a minute trying to get every second of “writing time” out of this nap that I can.

Why? Because I try to put it away when my kids are up and need me.

But it’s hard. Finding that balance. Meeting the needs of my family while balancing my own need to have a career that I absolutely love.

Today, I am a guest on the lovely, new, and very bad ass online magazine, The Indie Chicks. These ambitious women have spunk! It’s my first guest post and I’m pretty excited about it. What am I talking about over there? Mom Guilt (or Dad Guilt for you lovely Dad’s out there–I know you feel it too). If you’ve ever experienced it and have wondered what life is like on the other side of “super busy” then have I got a post for you!

So go grab a glass of wine (it’s 5PM somewhere), let the kids see how much playdough they can stick to the underside of the dining room table before it peels off, and click this linky to read my take on Mom Guilt and letting our kids play. And if you think I’m going to be just blowing smoke the whole time–I’ve thrown in some research too. So, educational, inspiring, and… fun!

By the way, they need writers for their blogs and this is a fabulous way to get some exposure and cross-promotional yahoo going on. (These fine ladies managed to score 1000 Facebook likes in like, no time! They are not to be messed with!)

And in case you are still on the fence, my post on the Deadly Swamp of Mom Guilt might just change your life!

Don’t miss it, and most of all…

Enjoy!

I’m rooting for you!

P.S. What brings on your Mom or Dad Guilt? What helps you survive it?

This is a question that has been very much at the forefront of my mind lately. Why? Because I have been trying to branch out and comment on other people’s blogs. Maybe even yours! But in some cases I have gone away frustrated and not commented and not returned to that blog.

Why?

Let me share my thoughts:

1. You can only comment using Facebook. I ran into this for the first time the other day. While it was intriguing and is a great way for the blogger to get their blog posts noticed via Facebook–when people comment, the comment goes on Facebook and into that person’s update stream. But what about people who do not use Facebook or do not want Facebook integrated into their whole entire life? Or how about people who don’t want their Facebook friends to know they are commenting on this blog or have serious issues with the privacy implications of linking their blog comments with Facebook? Who has this blogger just excluded from the opportunity to engage with this blog visitor due to their desire to have their blog shared on Facebook via others? Was the visibility worth the trade off?




2. Captcha. Yes, captcha is great for captchaing the spammers. But does anyone ever get the new Blogger captcha ‘prove you are not a robot’ right on the first go? And if they don’t, do they keep trying or do they leave–informal survey says (via the Shoutbox on agentqueryconnect.com) they leave. I gotta tell you, this weekend I’m going to have a chat with my parents this weekend and find out if I’m a halfblood robot. My advice: leave off the captcha. See if you get more comments. It might be worth the uptick in spam.




3. OpenID. What the heck IS OpenId anyway? Seriously. Whenever I try to use my WordPress account (which I then have to go and sign into) to use OpenID nothing ever happens. It never, never works. I’ve tried all sorts of different ways. No luck. I don’t use it. I hate it. It wastes my time and I avoid blogs that leave that as my only option. Question: Who else are you excluding by using only OpenID?




4. Gmail. I don’t like using Gmail to comment on blogs. It is not the email I use for business. And commenting on blogs is business. Plus, my Gmail account is not linked to my blog. Last time I tried to use Gmail (after having to go over and sign in), I wanted to see if I could link my Gmail to my blog so I could have that link appear in someone’s comment section if I used Gmail to sign in. I ended up signing up for Google +. Seriously. I was PISSED. I did not comment on that blog.




5. Name/URL/email. This one I like. I can pop in my name, my blog’s URL, and email address. Done. I don’t have to leave the blog to go sing in somewhere and then click back. I enter it, I comment. I’m done. BTW, if you want your avatar to pop up on comments, the free site, Gravatar, is easy to use. You can link a gravatar with an email address (or more) so when you use that email to comment on a blog, voila. Your avatar appears making it easy visually for people to recognize that it’s you. That’s easy branding.




6. Name/URL. This one is easy, but does not make my avatar pop up because my avatar is linked to my email. So far I haven’t figured out how to link my avatar to my URL. (If you know how–let me know in the comment section. I’d appreciate the advice.) If you are worried about spam with this option or the one above, make it so people have to have their first comment on your blog approved. After that, they can comment without approval. I do wonder though… could others comment pretending to be me? (Don’t get any ideas!!!) Is this the new frontier of identity theft? Eep!




7. Call to action. And lastly, are you giving your readers something to think about? Something they can respond to? I know I haven’t been so great at this in the past, but I’ve learned a little lesson from Jemi Fraser, Chris Brogan, and Derek Halpern in this regard. If you don’t ask you readers a question and don’t ask them if there is something they’d like to add it may make it difficult to comment in a meaningful way in your comment section. I know there has been the odd time where I’ve wanted to comment, but didn’t have anything I could really act upon.




8. Comment link location. You comment link should really be at the bottom of your post to make it easier for your readers to comment. I know mine isn’t, and my readers have to scroll to the top of the post in order to comment. I haven’t figured out how to change the code so it appears at the bottom, but it is something I’d like to change. If you can change it on your blog, do! Make it easy for your readers.

Is it easy to comment on my blog? What commenting options do you like (or don’t like) when you comment on a blog? Am I forgetting some?

On the other hand, is there anything more annoying for a reader than to have set up an RSS feed and still have to click over to a site to finish reading the content?

Anyway, I hope that my recent change of making my RSS feeds so they send the whole post out makes it easier for my readers. And if you read something you like, don’t be shy about clicking over here to say hello in the comment section.

P.S. You can also use that handy box on the right-hand side to have my posts emailed directly to your inbox. I promise I won’t share your email address with anyone.

I’m trying hard not to be the over-excited new kid, but I’m super thrilled and totally honoured. My first post will be next Friday, the 17th of 2012. It will be part of my Fabulous Five Fridays which will be five tips on various writerly subjects. The first post will be five tips on making memorable, layered characters.

The reason I’m telling you all this is because today they are ‘introducing’ me over on From The Write Angle and I’d love it if you stopped by to say, “hi!” See you over there. (Are you going there yet? Yes? Okay, I’ll zip over and say, “hi!” back!) Click here.

This begs the question: Is it true? (Sure!) Or more importantly, what is the impact of being that Pied Piper of Social Networking Awesomeness?

According to Thompson (quoted above), somewhere beyond having a few hundred/few thousand (depends on various factors) Twitter followers the social aspect of social networking breaks down. When you have a small gathering, like any social event, conversations happen and the group becomes a bit of a community with regulars throwing out ‘crazy’ ideas, bantering, and the building upon the thoughts of others. But once the event reaches a certain size, it becomes difficult for conversations to happen over the din and for those who know each other to meet up and converse. The example he uses in his article involves a Twitter maven who lost her small town feel around 13,000 followers (which is quite impressive actually–how she managed to keep that feel among so many followers makes her a rock star!). For her Twitterverse things went from a social event to dead silence.

To bring it down to a more personal level, when you see a blog with a ton of comments, are you likely to leave a comment? Or do you feel as I do–there is nothing left to comment upon and that you will simply get lost in the shuffle? As Thompson says of big audiences, “Not only do audiences feel estranged, the participants also start self-censoring. People who suddenly find themselves with really huge audiences often start writing more cautiously, like politicians.”

I’m not saying that amassing followers, friends, or blog commenters is a bad thing, however it is an interesting idea that the social aspect can reach its limits and fade away. I suppose there are limits to everything.