Breaking the Unbreakables

I’ve been breaking things again.

It started with the measuring cup. You know those thick, so-called unbreakable pyrex ones? Yup, bumped it off it’s low shelf onto the linoleum and smash.

Next up, my heavy duty, thick glass mixing bowl. The kind that would break your toe if you dropped it. Or, break when it hits the lino just right. Particularly if it has another bowl nested inside it.

When my husband discovered that I had broken both things in a matter of days, he looked me straight in the eye and said, “Do not, under any circumstances, touch my computer. Do not touch my computer.”

He may have also muttered something about what was with me, breaking things that don’t even break in a landfill.

I didn’t touch his computer (I think he may have snuck it to work with him), but I did touch the washing machine and dishwasher. Now, the job is to make the washing machine look like normal again and get the hot appliance smell out of the kitchen before he comes home.

A little tip–if you try and wash those reusable grocery bags that are kind of plasticy with the cloth on the inside… well, um, you might break your washing machine if you aren’t careful. I heard my washing machine making a strange racket so I went down there to see what all the squeaking was about. The green bag had floated to the top and had somehow splooshed water all over the laundry room and in the spin cycle (which was giving the machine a mini-breakdown), was winding itself along the top of the drum and proceeding to shred the drum’s plastic edging. And this is a soft bag!

The bag was trashed, the top of the machine frayed… but everything still works. It’s just… greener.

Later I decide to run the dishwasher. I hit start and off I go to do some tidy up in another room. I come back after a minute or two and the room smells funny. Sort of a hot element and dirty dishes smell. The dishwasher, for whatever reason, is washing without water. I managed to fix it, but the room really smells and it’s absolutely freezing outside (as in, layers of ice building up on our windows and doors), so what to do, what to do…

I suppose, truly, it is time to chant “I am one with the universe” again.

I am one with the universe. I am one with the universe….

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I also managed to not only cut the top of my foot open, but turn it black and blue by dropping the padded corner of a boxspring on it from a height of about five inches. Can we say talent?