Breaking the Unbreakables Update

It seems as though I am still at it. (Miss the first post on breaking things? Read it here.)

So, let’s see… I have a few things to add to the list. I’ve chipped a bowl pulling it out of the dishwasher. (Actually, not the first time I’ve manged that one.) But in the truly non-sucky news, for some reason, our lovely little robot vacuum won’t suck. I’m going to take it completely apart and give it a good cleaning and see what happens. In the meantime, I’ve been using our big ol’ beater of a vaccuum (no, not our steamcleaner because that thing stopped sucking up water months ago…) and trying to ignore it’s hot, not-happy smell that it seems keen to emitt these days. Maybe housekeeping just isn’t for me these days.

Although that wouldn’t help explain how I magically made my husband’s iPod think it had no music on it. I swear, all I did was listen to a few songs while I went for a walk. He said after I used it, he turned it on and it told him there was no music on it. Yet, when he hooked it up to his computer… everything was there and fine and dandy. Hmmm…

He’s wishing there was some way to market my ‘ability.’ I could make millions as a product tester.

Get Noticed by Agent Deidre Knight

Deidre Knight of the Knight agency is holding a little something special on November 30th. Are you looking for an agent? Hoping to get noticed, but want to try something a little more daring than emailing a query?

May I ask if you have tried speed dating an agent? Because when it comes to Deidre Knight, She’s Just That Into You!

Okay, after Tuesday’s post about not querying agents anywhere you happen across them, you might be scratching your head and wondering what sort of wacky tobacky Jean’s found. (It’s just an eggnog chai latte–I swear! No rum or anything!) Because doesn’t the recommendation to speed date an agent kind of going against that earlier advice?

Yes. And no. Let Ms. Knight (as per her agency blog) explain for me:

Knight Agency president and founder Deidre Knight is on the hunt for a fresh, unique voice to add to her personal client roster. Are you the one she’s looking for? Find out by joining us here on The Knight Agency blog for “Speed Dating with Deidre.” Beginning Tuesday, November 30th, Deidre will whittle down the first 125 entries to one lucky winner.* The contest opens at 8:00am ET right here on the blog, so set your alarms!

Oh, and there’s a special bonus, one randomly drawn winner will receive a first chapter critique from Deidre – drawn from all entries.**

That’s right… she’s looking for a new voice. Is yours what she is looking for? If you think it might be, post your name on the contest blog post on the 30th. In the meantime, check out your manuscript and give it a polish if you think it might need it, and also be sure to check out her submission guidelines (what she’s interested in representing) as well as the rest of the contest rules.
Good luck and may November 30th be your lucky day.

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers. May your turkey be moist and succulent and your pie heaped with mounds of whipped cream. Mmmmm!

Breaking the Unbreakables

I’ve been breaking things again.

It started with the measuring cup. You know those thick, so-called unbreakable pyrex ones? Yup, bumped it off it’s low shelf onto the linoleum and smash.

Next up, my heavy duty, thick glass mixing bowl. The kind that would break your toe if you dropped it. Or, break when it hits the lino just right. Particularly if it has another bowl nested inside it.

When my husband discovered that I had broken both things in a matter of days, he looked me straight in the eye and said, “Do not, under any circumstances, touch my computer. Do not touch my computer.”

He may have also muttered something about what was with me, breaking things that don’t even break in a landfill.

I didn’t touch his computer (I think he may have snuck it to work with him), but I did touch the washing machine and dishwasher. Now, the job is to make the washing machine look like normal again and get the hot appliance smell out of the kitchen before he comes home.

A little tip–if you try and wash those reusable grocery bags that are kind of plasticy with the cloth on the inside… well, um, you might break your washing machine if you aren’t careful. I heard my washing machine making a strange racket so I went down there to see what all the squeaking was about. The green bag had floated to the top and had somehow splooshed water all over the laundry room and in the spin cycle (which was giving the machine a mini-breakdown), was winding itself along the top of the drum and proceeding to shred the drum’s plastic edging. And this is a soft bag!

The bag was trashed, the top of the machine frayed… but everything still works. It’s just… greener.

Later I decide to run the dishwasher. I hit start and off I go to do some tidy up in another room. I come back after a minute or two and the room smells funny. Sort of a hot element and dirty dishes smell. The dishwasher, for whatever reason, is washing without water. I managed to fix it, but the room really smells and it’s absolutely freezing outside (as in, layers of ice building up on our windows and doors), so what to do, what to do…

I suppose, truly, it is time to chant “I am one with the universe” again.

I am one with the universe. I am one with the universe….

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I also managed to not only cut the top of my foot open, but turn it black and blue by dropping the padded corner of a boxspring on it from a height of about five inches. Can we say talent?

Query a Literary Agent Anywhere, Anytime?

Maybe you’ve friended an agent on Facebook. Maybe you have a few agent ‘friends’ over at LinkedIn. Maybe you follow and chat up agents on Twitter. Maybe you’ve followed an agent around at a conference, waiting for them to pause long enough that you can pounce–and present your query or pitch with trembling voice and sweaty hands.

Is this a fine way to go, or should you stick to sending your query via email or mail as per their agency website guidelines?

Personally, I’ve always gone with emailing/mailing as per their agency guidelines, unless, of course, the agent in question has made it crystal clear that it is okay to query via other methods.

To reinforce the idea that maybe it isn’t okay to query anywhere and anytime is a tidbit or two I found on Twitter today as per Jean Martha (AKA @TheJeanMartha–a literary agent):

“Woke up to find 8 queries in my personal email inbox via Linked In. Deleted them all.”

And just in case you thought nobody would notice:

“When someone chats me up on Twitter, I look at their stream. Full of Agent ass kissing? I discredit them in the future. Season’s Greetings!”

There you have it, clams in a bucket. Do what you will… but you can’t say you haven’t been warned.

Building a Character

One of the funnest (and hardest) parts of writing a story is building a character. Not just anyone will do when you need someone to sweep into your story and save the day. Or just any old Jane to take the layers of crap (we like to call it conflict) on her, either. So, who do you choose? You can’t just grab your next door neighbour and throw them into a murder scenario. (As much fun as that might be.) So, you have to get creative.

I’m one of those who has a general idea of their main character before they start writing. Usually. Sometimes I have nothing. However, I have found that in the cases where I go in blind, I often end up having a main character who lacks in proper motivations to carry the story forward in a strong and convincing way. That means, editing. A lot of editing. And that takes time. A few years ago I read Linda Seger’s book “Creating Unforgettable Characters” and built a worksheet for myself using her ideas and tips. It’s been great. Even when I don’t use the worksheet, just making it has helped keep those elements in mind when I start a new story or introduce a new character. (If you want to pop through some online character questionnaires, check out this link.)

What does your chararacter want? What stands in their way? (I have to know those two things before I start or I don’t even have a story. Generally speaking… I have broken my own rules a time or two. Oops!) But to get more depth, questions like: How do you handle conflict?; What is your level of education?; and What does your home look like? tend to help me delve deeper and get a greater understanding of who the heck I am working with.

Back in June, Writer’s Digest posted an article called, “9 Questions to Ask Your Main Character.” While I don’t think I have asked any of my characters these specific questions, they are good ones that will help get into the psyche of that wily old character of yours.

Being the curious sort that I am, I asked my writing buddies over at AgentQueryConnect if they ask their characters questions before they start writing. As you may have guessed, the answers to that poll were all over the board. If you have time and are curious what you can ask your main character, read the whole thread–there are lots of great questions that other writers ask their characters.

Writer’s tip: If your story is falling apart, lacks a little something, or your characters don’t feel quite right, try taking a break and having a coffee and chat with your characters. You might be surprised what they tell you.

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