How to Use Exclamation Marks!!!!

I have a confession to make. I overuse exclamation marks. I love them. I use exclamation marks like salt, and sprinkle them in almost every scene. But alas, exclamation marks are a sign of immaturity, poor writing, and tend to distract the reader. (Or so they say.)

In an effort to solve my exclamation mark problem (the first step is admitting you have a problem, right?), I have done some research on exclamation marks. Here are a few things I’ve discovered:

* Elmore Leonard suggests: “You are allowed no more than two or three per 100,000 words of prose. If you have the knack of playing with exclaimers the way Tom Wolfe does, you can throw them in by the handful.”

* In formal writing, exclamation marks are often considered out of place!

* Exclamation marks create a child-like quality!

* Exclamation marks are best used in fiction!

* Exclamation marks are best used in dialogue to show excitement, or shouting/raised voices!

* Using these marks frequently will give your work a breathless quality!

* Overusing exclamation marks reduce their meaning!

* Don’t use two or three exclamation marks in a row!!!

* Only use exclamation marks if it is absolutely necessary.

Cut out all those exclamation marks. An exclamation mark is like laughing at your own jokes.
—F. Scott Fitzgerald

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Later note: I figured something out. It’s exclamation marks in the narrative/prose that count. You can have more than two or three exclamation marks per 100,000 words IF it is in dialogue. Of course, of course. Why didn’t I realize that sooner? It isn’t like characters having a shouting match (and thus a needed sprinkling of exclamation marks) is a writing faux pas that will bring about the exclamation mark police.