Cupboards

Ugh.

At least it the wind isn’t exfoliating our roof for us today. (Blowing the shingles to Saskatchewan.)

I came home after a few hours out and about to find that one of my cupboard doors wouldn’t stay closed. I fiddled with it before realising that my Mixmaster was in the way. Hmm. The top seems to be off the stand. Weird. I’m pretty sure my husband wasn’t secretly mixing something last night–or this morning before he left for work shortly after 6 AM.

So, I reach in and begin moving the mix master around before I eventually realise that the top shelf has broken at the back, tipping down and breaking my mix master. That is why the top was relocated to the front of the cupboard, pushing on the door.

So, now I have dishes and appliances strewn over the floor. (Miraculously, my vases are all okay.) If I had half a brain cell, I could fix the shelf. But I don’t. So I won’t. I’m pretty sure I will just shove all that sh*t back in the cupboard and enjoy my denial for the next six months–that’s about when my hubby will realise that the cupboard is broken. Although, he never discovered that I broke the cutlery tray in the dishwasher and that was close to a year ago now….

If I had to pick one thing to break in that cupboard, the Mixmaster would have been my choice. Why you ask? Well, because I already broke it. Sort of. My mom was right when she told me as a child, “Don’t let the wooden spoon get too close to the beaters.” You can guess why. I did bend the beaters back fairly well, but the thing still jitters and bangs a bit. Despite having a heavy, platter laden shelf land on it, the Mixmaster still works. It is just a really, really heavy hand-held one now. Its stand was shattered. Impressive, really. Any guesses on what decade the Mixmaster was made in? Not this one! And the shelf, why yes, it was built in this decade. That is why it is a piece of sh*t that can’t hold up some god damned dishes.

Anyway, after that disaster my daughter began to realise that ‘her’ cat was missing (and yes, it meowed at her last night around midnight). We called the cat and could hear a muffled mew here and there. But no cat. Eventually I found her in with the placemats. She had only been in there for about three hours. I’m sure we would have found her sooner if we hadn’t accidentally shown up at the closed library an hour early for story time.

It all worked out okay. We went out for coffee and paid the mortgage while the cat curled up on the placemats. The cat is fine. We’re fine. I am reloading my caffeine supplies, because let’s face it, it’s only a touch past noon and today ain’t shaping up so great.

At least the car doors weren’t all frozen shut today. But it is snowing and the metal part on my snow shovel is worn out it is breaking off and dragging around. Is that sad that I’ve worn out a snow shovel? Oh, well, it’s okay. The next one I buy will definitely break before it wears out. Why? Because everything is built crappy these days. For example, the VCR I bought at a garage sale in university is finally wearing out. The DVD player we bought, what three years ago?, is close to toast.

I throw up my hands. Take me back to the eighties when they used to know how to make sh*t. Sure, it was heavy as hell, but it didn’t break all the figgin’ time.

I think I need more coffee. Or maybe I need less. I’m not sure which.