New Year Writing Workout #9: Feeling, Hearing, Seeing

You know, since I lied to you once, I may as well do it again. Isn’t that what exercise instructors are all about anyway? Three more, two more, one more. Andddd ten more, nine more….

I know I promised to let you off after #7. Then I added another yesterday to make a total of 8 exercises to help you whip your writing butt into shape for the new year. Since I’ve been editing and another thing came to mind, I thought, oh heck, may as well throw this one on thee ol’ blog up as well. Why? Because it will make you a better writer, of course. (Not because I am inherently evil.)

This one, is more of a tip than an exercise. What I want you to do is to look through your work, and search for spots where you used the words I felt/she felt/he felt and I hear(d)/she hear(d)/he hear(d) as well as I see/saw, she sees/saw, he sees/saw. (Kind of sounds like a tongue twister, doesn’t it?)

Found one in there somewhere? Here’s what we’re going to do, we’re going to remove the feeling, seeing or hearing word. Why? Because when you pop those words in there, you aren’t allowing the reader to experience the sensation first hand. In fact, you are elbowing them out of the equation by filtering that sense through the character. When a reader is allowed to sense it themselves, it triggers their empathy/sympathy/identification for the situation, bringing them deeper into the story.

Examples:

Before: I felt the rain falling on my face, cooling me off. After: The rain fell on my face, cooling me off. 

Before: She heard a loud thump and jumped as she reached for the door. After: A loud thump caused her to jump. (It helps too, if you make sure the action (thump) comes before the reaction (jump), just like in real life.)

Before: He saw her take out the knife and wield it at him. After: She took out the knife and wieded it at him.

So there you go, a nice easy writing tip that won’t strain your writing muscle one bit. Easy-peasy. Aren’t you glad I didn’t stop at #7?

Enjoy!