Most Irritating Phrases

At this moment in time, I personally, absolutely want to create a fairly unique character who says these most irritating phrases, like, all the time. With all due respect, at the end of the day it isn’t rocket science, really. Although I shouldn’t of said that, it’s a 24/7 nightmare, actually.

Now introducing the top ten most irritating words/phrases as compiled by the brainiacs at Oxford University. Like, totally.
The top ten most irritating phrases:

1 – At the end of the day
2 – Fairly unique
3 – I personally
4 – At this moment in time
5 – With all due respect
6 – Absolutely
7 – It’s a nightmare
8 – Shouldn’t of
9 – 24/7
10 – It’s not rocket science

Click here for the whole story. If you want to cruise through the agonizing list of the most irritating cliches, click here.

What irks you?

NaNoWriMo Winner!

I did it! 

I sat down today and launched myself over the 50,000 word mark and I didn’t even have to plague my characters with the rare, tropical disease called ‘blah, blah, blah’.

In case you missed the news:

So, yes, needless to say, I got around that wall and have set my main character on her steady course towards the story’s black moment where everything will go wrong and everyone will wonder with awe, (hooked and unable to breathe until it is over) how on earth she will pull it out of the fire.

I love it when stuff pulls together. It is so exciting and is the best part of being a writer. I always feel so brilliant when I inadvertently do things like this: I just realized that one of my ‘make the character’s life hell’ moments I have planned will work totally in my favour in more ways than one. You know how characters are supposed to change and form over the story’s course? Well, I have the groundwork for that. Sure, it is full of muddle puddles, quagmires and the odd tree planted right in the way of the groundwork, but it is there. Anyway, I just realized that when she loses her apartment and goes to live with this sweetheart of a woman, that she will have her eyes opened in a way that will help her change who she is so she can settle down and relax.

Not so exciting to you as for me? Sorry, how about THIS:

Oh, not that either. Okay, well maybe I’ll sign off then. Even though I’m over the 50k mark, I still have at least another 30k to go. Wish me luck.

Sincerely yours,

Black Moment Time?

I was coming up to the ‘finish line’ in the NaNoWriMo contest (write 50k in one month) and I hit a wall. (Not literally, as I was sitting in a comfy chair in the public library.) As I sat there, gazing out the window in my favourite writing seat, I thought ‘now what?’ I had everything in mind for what was going to happen to my character when things got ‘really bad’ leading up to the climax as well as how she was going to solve all her problems and her happily ever after.

But how was I going to get there from here? There didn’t seem to be anything left to be done.

Well, after I packed up my laptop, bought a pile of used books off that damn shelf near the library exit, and headed outside, I realized that it was black moment time in my story.

Then I thought, ‘already’? I was only nearing 50,000 words. In fact, I was sitting at 49,000. What to do, what to do? It felt too soon to hit the ‘black moment’ button, but the story was there, ready, all geared up. But what about me? Not so ready.

As I walked, I realized that everything was all geared up for things to hit the shitter in my story and that what I had planned was going to take some doing. Like at least 20,000 words, plus another 10,000 for resolving loose ends. Plus, on the next draft, I would undoubtedly flesh out some things, such as setting, adding another 10,000 words or so. If I didn’t follow the story and blast the black moment right now, I was going to have my usual problem of a lagging story and a word count hovering over 120,000. Yikes.

It wasn’t a wall after all, it was black moment time.

In Case of Emergency…

Because I think this is fantastic:

“Between my apartment and the Office of Letters and Light, there is a monster of a hill. I bike to work, and I always take a long route that steers me safely around the behemoth. I do this because I have the calf muscles of a goldfish, and because I’ve developed an aversion to feeling like I’m going to die first thing in the morning.

But yesterday, I summoned all my courage and headed up the mountain. My word count was—and still is—stuck in the low 30,000s, and I wanted to ride the hill to remind myself what the 40,000s in NaNoWriMo felt like. After struggling through an ordeal in which my lungs felt like twin meat-logs roasting on gyro spits, and my heart beat so fast that I feared it was going to try and make an emergency exit through my nose, I reached the top.”

–From a NaNoWriMo Pep Talk email. Written by Chris Baty.

Hack or Literary God?

Nathan Bransford had an interesting blog post the other day. Here’s the question that he presented to his readership:

“You go down to the crossroads and make a pact to have your novel and future novels published. You are given a conditional choice. Either you can receive the highest literary acclaim for your work, but a guarantee that you will never earn enough to give up your day job. Or you can always be considered a terrible hack, but make bucketloads of cash.Which do you choose?”

Personally, I fell into the majority and chose money. I don’t need to write the best flowery, deep, moving and meaningful stuff available to the masses to be happy. In fact, writing like that would undoubtedly make me somewhat unhappy. For one thing, imagine the pressure and tight critiques you would get. Ouch. Every time you opened your mouth you’d be afraid of using the wrong word or that you wouldn’t sound as brilliant and literary as you were made out to be by the press. Imagine the heyday when you stumbled over a word! I’d have to become a recluse.

On the money side, you get the chance to reach a lot of people (assuming you’re making money from your immense writing popularity and not your naked photos posted on the Internet). By reaching a wide audience, you are given the opportunity to provide people with hours of entertainment and enjoyment. Nice. Sure, there will people who say, ‘It’s only Jean Oram. It’s not celebral. It’s light. You don’t have to think.’ So what? I’d be in good company with writers like Nora Roberts, Stephen King, Meg Cabot. They don’t have day jobs to support their writing. And they reach a lot of people and give people a lot of enjoyment. For me, that is what writing is about. Connecting. And I am not saying that beautiful, deep, literary writing doesn’t connect. It does. And it resounds deeply when it does. But it doesn’t get the chance and opportunity to connect with as many people and is subject to intense criticism.

So, here I sit with 66% of Nathan’s commenters, leaving my ego at the door: Show me the money.

Hitting the Writing Wall

Lately the theme in writing that keeps popping up is the good ol’ fashioned writing wall. At times, it could be confused as a form of writers block. I.e. there is something large and bulky that keeps getting in the way of a writer and their story moving forward.

Usually I do the duck and dodge to get around the wall. However, there are times when that good old wall is just like a line in that camp song, “Can’t go over it, can’t go under it, can’t go through it…”.

I’m more than half way through my NaNoWriMo novel. Well, just half way to ‘done’, but ‘almost there’ in terms of hitting the 50,000 word mark. Despite the rapid-fire way that the majority of my work in progress has flooded page after page of black text on white screen, there have been moments when I’ve sat back after typing 3000 words and gone, ‘crap. now what?’. I hate that. Usually it involves me packing up my laptop and stomping around outside, head ducked down in thought with my mind going, ‘okay, how about this? Too lame. This? No, unrelated tangent that would take me too far away from the story. This? No, flying dinosaurs would totally change the genre. This? No.’ And then BING, I have it. I’ve done the 20 questions on myself and found a way through, over, under or around that wall.

But sometimes, you aren’t so lucky, you have to go back and read through and try and figure out where exactly you started building that wall, brick by brick. And you have to go do some masonry work without letting the whole structure crumble. This is why I have begun using a method where I write down two or three or five words about the scene after I’ve written it–or occasionally before I do if I have a clear idea of where I want to go. With each scene I write whether it is an action, reaction/consequence or decision. If I just had a reaction, I need a decision. That helps helps me with progress and keeps me focused on what is really going on in the story instead of the last feeling I generated.

The other thing that helps is discussing my plot bogging problem with my crit group or some other wonderful ear over in the Agent Query community. That helps too.

And if there seems like there is no way over, around, under or through your wall, I like the method I’ve begun calling, ‘push someone off a tower’. In my current work in progress, I did just that. This scene was going nowhere. It was boring, the characters were griping and then my heroine shoved her best friend off the tower. Suddenly I had action. (They were bungee jumping–it’s not a murder mystery. Yet.) So now when I find myself thumping into a wall, I turn around and push someone off a tower. Last time my heroine got arrested. That was good for about another 8000 words.

I’ll leave you with some fitting and timely NaNoWriMo writing advice from author Janet Fitch:

“I know it feels like you have all these options and when you make a decision, you lose a world of possibilities. But the reality is, until you make a decision, you have nothing at all.” (Her therapist was telling her this.)

“So you have these options, but which one to go for? When in doubt, make trouble for your character. Don’t let her stand on the edge of the pool, dipping her toe. Come up behind her and give her a good hard shove. That’s my advice to you now. Make trouble for your character. In life we try to avoid trouble. We chew on our choices endlessly. We go to shrinks, we talk to our friends. In fiction, this is deadly. Protagonists need to screw up, act impulsively, have enemies, get into TROUBLE.”

“The difficulty is that we create protagonists we love. And we love them like our children. We want to protect them from harm, keep them safe, make sure they won’t get hurt, or not so bad. Maybe a skinned knee. Certainly not a car wreck. But the essence of fiction writing is creating a character you love and, frankly, torturing him. You are both sadist and saviour. Find the thing he loves most and take it away from him. Find the thing he fears  and shove him shoulder deep into it. Find the person who is absolutely worst for him and have him delivered into that character’s hands. Having him make a choice which is absolutely wrong.”

Love it! Good luck getting over, under, through or around your wall.

Save Your Library!

For awhile, reading Publishers Lunch everyday was like a constantly updated Who’s Who of small bookstores that were closing their doors due to the economy’s gentle slide downhill. Now that the economy is considered to be officially on the downhill slide, reading Publishers Lunch has become like reading a Who’s Who of library budget cuts.

It bothers me when libraries get cut. Especially with the increasing cost of books, the increasing demand for technology and technology upgrades, increase in staff costs, etc. How will they keep up?

Several years ago, working in a school library it became a sad state of affairs. School budgets were being cut and principals were turning to their libraries to pass on the favour. Librarians were given less resources, more work and less time to do it all. It is a proven fact that a school with a well-funded library has better test scores and higher literacy rates. So, as literacy declined, the government entered combat mode and began allocating funds to schools for a literacy program. (Not libraries.) Meanwhile, their libraries would wallow and flounder. Silly people, read your research! After a few years, the money would run out and the literacy program would shut down. Not exactly a long term solution.

Now the cuts are heading into the public domain. For example, in today’s Publishers Lunch, the news is that the governor of New York is proposing that they cut the library budget by 20%. That is a BIG cut. Particularly since “library usage has skyrocketed over the last year as more people turn to libraries for finding jobs, improving their literacy skills and for free reading materials and programs for their families”. (Michael Borges executive director, NY Library Assoc.) P.S. If you are in Albany, NY, join the Rally against the cuts in the Well of the Legislative Office Building  from 1-2:30 pm on Tuesday, November 18th.

What do all these cuts mean? It means less new books (which means less sales for the new authors as well, plus less exposure as the libraries will buy the big name authors and be less likely to spend their money on an unknown or new author), it means older equipment in libraries, less staff to shelve books, research the good books and order them, less services and programs (inter-library loans, research for patrons, children programing, special features) for the public as well as reduced hours open to the public. These are just a few things off the top of my head. What we don’t know is how this is going to affect literacy in communities. For example, in poorer communities, they may even shut down libraries (there has been talk of that already in some areas). So what does this big budget cut spell for those neighbourhoods?

You can’t cut without consequences. We aren’t just cutting a few jobs, we’re lowering literacy (and making it harder for a new writer to break out). Wow. Do you think the governor would think twice if he knew that?

The Truth: Book Awards, Bestsellers and Contest Winners

I’m going to tell you things that may shock you today. Or at least make you think ‘what the hell?’ Are you ready?

First of all the Giller Prize. A fancy, dancy book award. Turns out Giller Prize books may not even be read by the judges. Uh, huh. You heard me. They end up with more books nominated than the poor judges could read in a year. So what do they do? Well, some of them grab page one, read it, flip through to about middle, read another page, then flip to some spot near the end and read there too. If they like those couple of pages, then it wins. Yup. That’s why some award winners make you wonder.

Bestsellers. Until about two years ago bestseller lists were compiled not actually from how well books sold. There wasn’t even a way to tell which books were selling the best. Newspapers with their bestseller lists would call up local bookstores and ask what they thought was selling the best. Dear lord. I’ve heard that in the past few years things have changed and that the lists may actually be accurate. Still, it kind of makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

And Amazon’s bestselling list (while magical in its formula–and a secret too) is also misleading. You can claim that your book was a book that sold in the Amazon top 100. Okay, yes. Maybe it did for a second. But that means pretty much nothing, according to some. It seems as though the results can be tinkered with and you can make your book launch into the bestselling 100 for a minute or two if you have the right technique. Some argue that you can’t. Basically, from what I hear, nobody’s buying it if you claim amazing stats from your book sales over on Amazon. Unless you are Dan Brown or JK Rowling.

Back to contests. Aspiring writers are told by some to enter contests left, right and center. Go win one. Go place in one. If you do, you’ll get an agent’s attention, plus you will have some credentials to put in your query. Thing is, apparently nobody cares unless you win. Thing is, you have to win more than your local contest. You have to win a major contest. MAJOR contest. Otherwise, the assumption is that you were simply the best in the pile of crap that came in.

Sorry to shatter your perceptions, but well, it had to be done. I hope you’ll forgive me.