What Planet Am I On?

Just out of curiosity, anybody know why I would need the weather report for Mars? I’m just curious because apparently that is one more service that Environment Canada is now supplying. Did we claim rights to Mars and it is now Canadian soil or something?

As well, what on earth did spammers sell before Viagra? Oh great, I just put ‘Viagra’ in my post and now I’m going to be deleting spam for this post from now until the cows come home.

And considering I have no cows, that could be a very, very long time.

Pudding and Other Important Items of Mundanity

So, I finally found butterscotch pudding in the grocery store. Butterscotch pudding that you make yourself, that is. It was a bit of a challenge. So, I snatched up a box, wondering at its amazing lack of weight and smaller size than the other flavours we had previously been enjoying and brought that baby home. Butterscotch, at long last, was in the house.

Then I noticed the dreaded words that makes every pudding junkie’s heart sink, “Fat Free” and “Made with Aspartame”. Crap. But it’s butterscotch and its pudding. It must be consumed. So I raged against the machine. I got out my juice jug, poured in the light powder and added my two cups of milk, sealed the lid and shook it for two minutes. How exactly did I rage? I made that bad boy pudding with homo milk (3.25% milk fat). Fat free that you pudding desecrating bastards!

In other news, my husband found the exact centre of the Internet, a place my dad once discovered ages ago when there were approximately six websites in total. Anyway, if you fear not traveling afar, here it is (pack light young grasshopper).

Oh, and in case you are like most curious ten-year-olds in their quest for answers regarding the most intriguing questions regarding poop, then this one is for you.

Best Day EVER!

Okay, okay, must calm down. Such a good day!

Even better than winning a car…

1) I got asked to moderate an online chat between writers and agents. (Yes! Yes! Yes! So totally awesome. I am soooo excited! Wow! Wow, wow!)

2) I won an ARC of The Unnamablesby Ellen Booraem. (That’s an Advanced Reader Copy–meaning the book hasn’t even been released yet! Does it get any better than that?)

3) I also got notice that I can submit my first 50 pages and synopsis for the agent critique I won in an online auction. Yippee!

Best day ever! My life rocks!

Slobber is the New Black

For all you fashionistas, this just in: Slobber is the new black. Yes, you heard me correctly.

My daughter (age five) was playing a slobber game this weekend with one of my husband’s friends and for whatever reason, she decided to declare slobber as the new black. And yes, I just about peed my pants laughing when she declared this in a very serious manner after her slobber game was called to an end.

I also almost peed myself when she told another of my husband’s friends that ‘she was pretty confident’ about something or other. He informed her that she was ‘too young to use words like confident’. Her reply: ‘Goo goo, ga ga’. Timing is everything. So is the immediate location of washrooms.

Agent Session

To quote my husband, “Sometimes you have to pay $20 to reinforce what you already know.” Today was one such day.

I went to a few sessions at the Writers Guild’s workshop thingy today. I attended one on agents, presented by an agent (and no, as I had previously researched, she does not represent chick lit, romance, women’s fiction–damn). Basically, she reinforced a lot of what I had already discovered through my own research. I suppose the most important thing she reinforced for me was that query letters really are a personal thing and that sure, people come up with ‘formulas’ and expound on their virtues and fail-proof abilities…but you know what? if you are professional as well as yourself and prove that you have done your research, you might have a shot at catching their attention, formula or not. Ha!

The most interesting moment, other than doubting the map that had been sent with my registration (and yes, the map was read incorrectly) and entertaining the guy in the funny gold coloured car with my singing along to the radio, oh, and the fact that when I entered the lecture theatre I realised that I was somehow, once again, the person that was not like the others, was…the air of frustration, disappointment and even anger that began to brew when the audience began to realise what a slim chance they have of making it with an agent or a big publisher. For me, this was old news. I know how slim that shot is and I take it very seriously. Therefore, I don’t take it personally that my voice is not automatically the one that everyone wants to hear. For that fact, that what I have to say will interest everyone. That’s life. Suck it up. To combat the odds, I have been preparing for my one shot. I have been practicing, researching, learning, always learning. These folks, as I took it, not so much. I kind of felt bad for them–at the same time, I suppose it makes more room for me??? You could tell the agent was trying so hard not to crush their dreams, but well, it’s hard.

If it wasn’t hard, what would be the challenge and where would be the immense joy when you finally do succeed?

Query La-La Land: A Pleasant Place to Visit

I hate writing queries. Have I mentioned that before? I was test driving some exercises for someone which was great. That is until I realized that now I have to apply it to my own query. Honestly, I am really hoping that by some fluke of god/nature/wizards falling out of trees/fairy godmothers granting random wishes/falling stars and all that other good, obscure and random stuff that I will not have to actually have to write a query and I won’t actually have to query around.

Ha!

It’s nice here in la-la land. We have mochas. And I do recommend the delusions, they are surprisingly tasty.

Professional Development

Wow, this seems to be a year for professional development for me. I decided since I’m spending money on this ‘career’ that I had better start keeping receipts. So far, since January I have:

* Bought two books on writing
* Entered one contest
* Bought a new laptop and router (I’m kinda hard on technology and seem to wear it out rapidly. I could totally be a tester…)
* Paid for a workshop this coming weekend
* Bought an agent proposal critique at an online auction
* Bought a pile of books in my genre
* Enrolled in a summer online workshop on strong heroines

And these are just the things I’ve paid for in the past 6 months! This is going to be my year. I can feel it! I’m so excited.

Now How Did I Do That?

Despite my best intentions and my stellar organizational skills…I have just discovered that somewhere along the line that I have been working off two different versions of my ms. Where? When? I don’t know. But I have to find out. Blech.

At least I noticed.

I wonder where my word count really is…