Word Count Blues

What the heck?

I’ve been editing my ms, trying to pare down the word count. Cut out the repetition, the frivolous scenes, all that stuff. And through hard work and determination, I have been whittling away at the word count. From 110,000 words, I got down to 109k, then towards 108k. Then the thing started retaining water or something. I noticed, halfway through this edit that gee, the number of pages in this document has swelled. So, out of curiosity’s sake, I checked the word count. Ack! 120k!!!! (Eeeep!)

What the hell has my ms been eating? Whipped cream and chocolate bars? Oh no, wait. That’s me. I’ve been whittling away at the Mother’s Day Feast leftovers. I’d hate for anything to go bad. Now, where was I? Ah yes. The five pounds that my ms, okay ten pounds, that my ms put on while I wasn’t looking. I had that thing working out every day, eating right and everything and then bam, there it is; ten pounds.

It’s like this thing is trying out for the cheerleading team and has to weigh 100lbs so the ground team can toss it in the air without anybody breaking anything and there it goes and gains weight. What is it doing? Sneaking behind the bleachers to eat deep fried Twinkies (which are actually not half bad) when it’s on break? How the hell is this thing ever going to make the squad?

I’d better do some research on word count and genres before I poke myself repeatedly in the eye.