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Radio ADD is a real and very serious disorder. So serious that I felt the need to climb out of my warm bed in order to share my story with you. At this point, there is no known cure for Radio ADD.

Here’s my story:

I’m not sure when I became first afflicted by Radio ADD, but it was in my childhood sometime. I can trace its roots back to my parents listening to CBC throughout the house. In fact, it was often on all hours of the day and could be heard in every room of the house. Every vehicle’s radio was tuned into AM 1010. I wasn’t even sure that the vehicles could pick up other radio stations until I got my driver’s license and could drive on my own, scanning through the stations. I recall the sheer delight when I discovered Zed 99 at age 16 through the truck stereo–I was stuck with CJAY 92 and 107 (and its varying call letters) at home on my own stereo. The dial on my own stereo never graced the AM dial, nor the FM regions that leaned towards CBC territory (CBC even stalks the FM dial). I always stayed safely in the middle where rock and roll hung out.

I didn’t realise that I had Radio ADD until I was in my 20s, although the signs were obvious by age 19. The summer I was 19, I remember impressing a friend by scanning through stations, listening for the first few riffs of a song and then declaring the song title and artist. If a person began talking on the station, I instantly hit the scan button. I was no longer able to listen to voices on the radio–not even advertisements.

By my mid-20s I had a sure case of Radio ADD. I was worse than a man with a TV remote during the commercials. I’d hear a DJ and I’d have to hit the button. I had to. If a song came on that I didn’t like, I had to scan. If the song didn’t fit my mood, I had to scan. It became a serious affliction that reduced my attentiveness as a driver. I had one tape that I could listen to over and over as I drove long distances. It soothed me. Fast song, slow song, fast song, slower song… And then the tape was thrown away in a clean-up fit initiated by someone else. I have never been the same on road trips.

This disease has reduced me to the point where I cannot stream in music. There is no ’skip’ button when you are streaming music. I can’t skim through for the song I want. I can’t listen to regular radio. The DJs drive me batty. And all the stations ‘talk’ at the same time–on the hour, etc. During those times, scanning is useless. Satellite radio is still my only hope. It isn’t a cure, but it soothes my symptoms. No DJs on the Coffeehouse, but after 18 months, the playlist is wearing thin. I have to find a new station. Somewhere with new music that doesn’t annoy me.

At this time I can still no longer listen to CBC radio. It has become a physical limitation of which I cannot seem to overcome. I try to listen. I do. Even the most interesting story that intrigues me eventually gets tuned out. After all these years, my ears are worn out when it comes to CBC. When my husband has it on, I tune it out. I try to listen, but I can’t. Before I know it, I have turned it off. Few people understand.

So until the cure is found for my Radio ADD, I will be flipping stations whenever a DJ comes on, tuning out CBC and skipping stations repeatedly, driving my family to the edge of insanity. Please, somebody find me a cure. But as Joan Osbourne says, “What if the cure is worse than the disease?”

Tags: music //