Jean Oram (.com)

Tab Purge

I have been totally falling down on my monthly Good Links posts. For some reason the end of the month comes, I think about it, procrastinate, the new month begins, I feel guilty, I get over it. I carry on.

Well, my tabs in Firefox are full of good stuff once again that I would like to share. So, without any formality… here goes.

FICTION: if you hang out on AgentQuery Connect you may have gotten to know Chopsaw, aka, James Kidd. Well, he’s got a great little short story called ‘Holes in the Walls‘ up at Every Day Fiction. It’s worth checking out.

YOUR FICTION: Speaking of fiction, maybe you have some of your own and are wondering whether it is flabby or fit. Well, wonder no longer! You can paste some of your writing into this analyzer and see whether it thinks you use too many adverbs, be words, or commits other writerly sins. The Writer’s Diet Waistline Test.

PUBLISH YOUR FICTION: Moonrat (a recovering editorial assistant) gives the goods on publishing houses whether big, small, or self.

PUBLICIZE YOUR FICTION: John Betcher discusses a few ideas on how to create a buzz around your book at the local level.

MARKET THAT FICTION: TK Richardson begins her marketing tips this week. If you don’t know where to start, take note!

**I recommend keeping a file with good marketing/publicizing tips and advice on your computer. As you come across helpful stuff, pop it in the file and it will all be there when you need it. Saves time!

Now I can close a few tabs–and I didn’t even bombard you with links like usual! Probably because Firefox and I keep fighting about saving my tabs when I shut down which means I forget all about those goodies I wanted to share!

Enjoy!

Jean The Destroyer

So, it’s been a while since I’ve posted an entry where I chant, “I am at one with the universe.” Evidently, too long.

Let me start at the beginning…

Once upon a time there was a girl who every once in a while would fall out of sync with the universe and break, damage, destroy, wreck, decimate, and generally lay waste to the electronics around her.

Flash forward to June 2010. Her two-year-old laptop starts making ‘bad’ hard drive grinding noises. Her darling husband knows what’s coming. He’s seen the signs before. He seizes the moment he’s been waiting for… he orders her a Mac in hopes that its indestructible and simple design will last her at least three years, making up for its increased cost. Jean jumps for joy at the idea of a laptop that might last. Yay! Yay!

Don’t let the smoke out! They never work right after that.

Jump back in time a little bit… Jean’s cell phone stops working properly. It must be persistently coaxed to have its screen light up and work. Darling Husband The Rescuer jumps in once again with his not-yet-recycled cell phone. He battles Bell Mobility and has her phone number transferred to the old phone. He knows its days are numbered and that he must put his get-Jean-a-new-phone-before-impending-technology-breakdown can come to fruition. Bell says Jean is up for a new FREE phone. Jean says this one is fine. Husband takes further action. Begins soft sell on Jean. Jump to July… Jean finally caves. New phone ‘purchased.’ Husband breathes sigh of relief for narrowly avoiding yet another technology breakdown crisis.

Jump to the end of July. Jean not quite sure why their digital camera is taking slightly blurred shots. Surely it can’t be the bent lens from being dropped at the mountain summit between the Yukon and Alaska acting up now. Surely.

Jump to August. Place Oram family in the safari ride at Disney’s Animal Kingdom in Florida. Animals abound. Lens won’t come out. Jean fiddles with it like she did in Alaska last summer. Breaks it. Camera done. Kaput.

Don’t even think about touching our TV, b*tch!

A week ago: Jean pulling things from the dryer. Remarks to husband, “The dryer smells funny.” Involuntary moan emits from his lips. Both realize that dryer, while still feeling new to us, is actually on borrowed time… <gulp>

Yesterday: Checking my WEbook Page to Fame entry status. I get a message saying something to the effect: You have broken our website you awful, nasty person. Whatever did we do to you? Please make it up to us by sending this code (seen at bottom of page) so we can fix our website, you awful nasty person.

Actually, the message was much kinder than that. I hit refresh a few times and went back to their homepage and things were all okay again. Whew! (Don’t tell them it was me, okay?)

Today: For the fall I have made some wonderful writing plans that I hope are not as elusive as a well-priced, point-and-shoot digital camera with a glass lens. Anyway, to keep me on track, I have managed to somehow be paired up with two very lovely, talented and motivated aspiring writers who also want to do some kick butt writing this fall. Yipee! Nothing like a group to keep you on task. So, one of the lovely ladies created a Google group for us to share documents, plans, goals, motivations, and unbeknownst to her… a place for Jean to destroy.

That’s right. I have somehow made it so even my dear ol’ hubby with his tech Masters degree cannot figure out why I cannot upload my profile picture. But that’s neither here nor there. That sort of thing happens to me like peanut butter. (Yeah, I don’t know what that means either.) Today, I wrecked a page made by another member. No, let me amend that. I didn’t wreck it, I made it not exist. No, seriously. That’s what Google says. And Google is like God. Don’t argue with God. God has lightning bolts. So, I added my goals to the existing, pre-made page, hit ‘save and publish’ and got the message that it had successfully published. Apparently into another dimension.

See? Told ya.

Oh, and I forgot. The Mac? You know how it doesn’t seize up, like ever? Yeah, I did that yesterday by trying to add someone to my address book. I’m just that good.

Anyone have a camera I can borrow? Really, I’ll take good care of it. I promise.

WEbook Round 2 Update

I’ve noticed that a few fellow aspiring writers have been getting a bit peeved about the lack of meaningful feedback in the WEbook Page to Fame contest. (You get a number ranking out of 5 and if raters so wish to, they can click on some pre-made comments that may apply, or add their own typed comment.) Personally, I have been finding the feedback pretty good–especially for a contest.

For the first 50 or so ratings my piece was garnering a 68 – 70% elevation rate. (That means of the 50 raters, 68-70% were giving it a 4/5 or a 5/5 and wanted to see it elevated to the next round of the contest.) Talk about being pleased with myself as well as completely shocked and stunned.

In fact, I started to worry and wonder. How was it that my piece was speaking to this many readers? While most raters rate in the genre of their interest (mine being women’s fiction), my story starts with a woman at her most unhinged moment. That doesn’t exactly speak to everyone.

Then in the last week or so my ratings have slid down to the mid-60s for elevation ratings. While disappointing, I’ve also gotten a few written comments about my main character. I love it! Here’s why: The way I see it she’s either going to make the reader hoot with laughter, cry along with her sorrows, or want to completely wring her neck and then punt her in the pants. It’s going to depend upon the reader’s personality as well as their life experiences. In a nutshell, they will react differently to her and that is what I am seeing this week in a few lowered ratings as well as a few comments about the fact that she is ‘unpleasant’ and a ‘lunatic.’ Excellent.

The latest reviews: 68 ratings, 63% want it elevated (chose 4s or 5s).

Another reason why I love the comments about her being a nutjob is because she is getting under their skin of the reader in 1200 words or less and that she is getting so under their skin that they are feeling compelled to take the time to write me a comment. How wonderful is that? Even if they don’t like her and would toss the book across the room, I’m getting to them. (And yeah, maybe it would be nice if they loved her to pieces, but still. They took the time to write a comment!)

So, darlings, it’s in the pudding. What I mean is, feedback tells you something about your work and that, my dears, can be absolutely wonderful.

Good luck!

Book Review: Return the Heart

Book Review for: Return the Heart
By: TK Richardson

You may recall TK Richardson (Website & Blog) from our author swap some time back. Well, guess what? She’s been busy writing and publishing her first book, Return the Heart. And you know what? It’s fabulous. This is a gal who has invested in her skill and it shows.

Lilly, the heroine, is well-developed, as is the rest of her ‘gang’ of new friends that have special, top secret talents. You know what motivates them, what their internal conflicts are, and all that high-tech writerly mumbo-jumbo. In other words, you totally get why each character acts the way they do and totally understand (and empathize) with the push-pull they feel at any given moment.

So, what’s up with Lilly anyway? Well, Lilly can read hearts. That is, she can look at someone (or a photo of someone) and read their feelings, histories, desires, and most telling, their secrets–good and bad. Her friends have similar, but unrelated talents, and together they mesh to create a powerful group that is wanted by agencies (both good and bad) around the world. But I’ve already told you enough. TK slowly doles out information in a way that intrigues the reader and causes them to want more and I don’t want to spoil that for you.

Watch for more from TK, and more in the series. (After reading the last chapter I emailed her and asked, so you totally led up to a sequel–is there one? The answer is yes. Yay!)

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Details, Details, Details

You know the expression, details, details, details. It’s often expressed with a slight eye roll and blase attitude. Well, I’ve been thinking about details lately and those slight nuances between people, countries, etc. Maybe it’s all the travel I’ve done this summer. Or maybe it’s related to my curiosity as a writer.

There was a time where I shrugged my shoulders at details believing they were unimportant. Besides, who cares? I could make those up. I was a writer after all. I could extrapolate and get away with it. I mean, you can’t experience everything and that research takes time! Time away from writing.

Now I think differently. The correct detail in the right place can bring a whole scene to a truth that can drive at the reader. It can make something really work. Or more importantly, not work. For example, mentioning baby wipes in your 1940s novel when they weren’t invented until the 1970s. Yeah, that’s just being lazy and will get your ass kicked.

That’s right. Time travel, baby! Yeah!

A week ago we went to Disney World. Having been to Disneyland, I figured I could extrapolate what Disney World would be like. And then I went. Ha! There is that false sense of ‘I can imagine anything’ popping up.

I couldn’t extrapolate the details of Disney World, Florida, or even several, specific travel details (even though I usually step foot in the US at least once a year). Even the way Disney theme parks have evolved in the past 20 years made my detail sensor step back and say, “Well, now. We’d better take an extra look at this.”

The small details like the way sweat beaded up on the insides of my wrists at 5:30 at night while dining outdoors (I didn’t even know my wrists could do that), the way rules for passenger conduct in buses and airplanes, etc, in the US are emphasized first and foremost that this is a law! What if I had written a story about a gal who flew to Florida in August and she didn’t even sweat after 3PM? What if she had checked her bags WITHOUT charge for her flight on United Airlines? Oh, how that would have made American readers howl at my naivety/stupidity/lack of knowledge. Kind of like that check-in agent come to think of it….

And most of all, I would not have realized just what a flirt Mickey and Minnie are! My goodness. No wonder everyone loves them, they are a complete hoot.

I’m thinking I might set my next novel in Italy and what I’ve learned from this latest trip is that I’d better go immerse myself in the details of Italy. What do you think?

Out of Office

As you may have gathered, I haven’t exactly been near my computer lately. Which I know, in today’s world, is no excuse for not blogging. But I’m using it. I’m going to go see Mickey Mouse so I’m going to spend at least another week not blogging.

Eastern Alberta, July 2010
Or is this my house pre last week’s renovations?

See you all later! I hope you are having exquisitely wonderful summers and that all your wishes are coming true! (I know mine have been. Even those ones I thought were pinned up on the ‘ain’t gonna happen’ side of the fence.)

Curious Writers

I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon as I get more and more into this whole ‘writer thing.’

What might that be, you ask?

Are you curious, I ask back. If you are, it’s quite fitting as what I have noticed is an increased curiosity. Yes, that’s right, I’m now more curious than the cat.

I find I go into situations seeking tidbits I can pull into my writing or tuck away for later. Like what someone’s house looks like and how it reflects their personality–or doesn’t. They way people say things. The way certain places smell. The colour of the sky in different parts of Canada. And the most funnerest (other than making up words that are totally improper grammar) part of this whole renewed curiosity thing would have to be satisfying that curiosity with doing new things. I mean, if you are handed the opportunity to try wakeboarding, you have to try it. If you have an axe and permission to lop down some pines, you gotta seize the day. And savour it. The smells. Which muscles ache the next day. The textures. The way the water feels as you hit it. The way the sap travels freaking everywhere.

It’s curiosity about life, my friend. If you don’t have that, what do you have?

Yes, my adventurous nature has been renewed, my inner child prompted to the surface, and all in the name of making me a better writer. Life’s gems are laid out before me like a smorgasbord. And I’m hungry.

Notes From Across Canada

I have been negligent in my blogging, I know. The truth of the matter is that I have been on a five-province fact finding mission. Here are my notes and observations:

British Columbia:

Stanley Park, Vancouver: Just because you happen to see a sign with a large letter ‘P’ on it surrounded by a green circle (see below), it does NOT mean you are able to park there. In fact, you might just discover after a nice walk along the ocean wall that you have just landed yourself a $39 parking ticket. (If you pay within a week. It doubles if you don’t.)

Vancouver is Toyota Matrix central. While in Alberta you may not be able to spit without hitting a Ford F-150, in Vancouver, you can’t spit without hitting a Matrix.

Alberta:

Aggressive drivers. Put the pedal to the medal or be prepared to get passed on any available road surface.

Small towns worth their salt have their town pride displayed in a monument. The tackier the better.

Saskatchewan:

This province always gets the shaft when it comes to scenery discussions. You know the jokes–you can watch your dog run away for five days before he disappears over the horizon, etc., etc. However, I like Saskatchewan. The roads go directly where you want them to go. No fooling around with having to go around lakes or rocks or going south to get north. It’s an efficient little province. And the bonus is, when you do drive by something like a salt mine or town it’s pretty darn exciting.

P.S. the Trans Canada is back in commission after all those floods. You have to reduce your speed in one short spot where you share the divided highway with the Westbound traffic, but other than that, it’s all good.

Good find in Saskatchewan–a hideaway RV park (can tent too) that is cheap and seriously has the most friendly, helpful owners ever. We literally stumbled across this one and it’s a keeper. It’s called Crooked Lake RV??? (Dang if I can remember, but it is on the south end of the lake directly north of Indian Head) east of Regina. Pasqua Lake? I’ll have to look it up.

Manitoba:

Er, um. Hmmm. Manitoba. Manitoba is… er… Hmm.. Nobody ever talks about Manitoba. It’s the forgotten child of the Canadian provinces. Oh! Here’s something. That Winnipeg circle road. Could they have made the circle any bigger? My goodness. You can’t even SEE the city from the ring road. I think it is more like a necklace for some big man named Gino than a ring.Plus, you have a lovely view of the city dump as you circle by. Lovely. It really makes me want to stop in and check out the city. Not.

General note: when it comes to vehicle colour, red seems like it is becoming the new silver. I’m liking this for the main reason that within a few years I will be able to find my car in parking lots once again. Yippee!

Ontario:

Where smart phones become expensive paperweights. Because without your special smart cellphone network, honestly, what can you do with a smart phone? You can’t phone, you can’t internet, you can’t email, basically you can’t do anything ‘smart.’ It doesn’t know what time it is. It eats it’s battery like it’s just been released from prison camp and the battery is a Black Forest Cake. You can’t even feed your virtual fish. (The region I am referring to would be from pretty much the Manitoba-Ontario border to Sault Ste. Marie. Then it begins working again. Thank goodness.)

In Northern Ontario those agressive semi drivers from Alberta become the most courtesous folks ever. They will let you know when it is safe to pass them by yusing their turn signal or flashers. Seriously. Even if you are happy to hang back and cruise behind them until the next passing lane.

It is in Ontario that you really notice what you can get for $80 a night in terms of a hotel/motel. That $80 can lead to a vast quality difference. $80 can get you a downhill slope to the bathroom with not enough towels ($120 actually–and that would be Vancouver) or a room with a door that doesn’t really close properly and is kind of musty and hot and when you open the old school ‘sanitized’ ribboned toilet seat you can’t help but laugh at the wad of used toilet paper sitting in the bowl (Dryden) or it can be knock-your-socks-off like this place in Wawa (see photo).

Best coffee EVER: Muskoka Bean on Manitoba St. in Bracebridge. BIG, yummy, flavoured mocca for $2. Yes, that’s right. Don’t even bother stopping at The Juicery in Port Carling. The prices may seem good until you get your miniscule cup of this-might-be-a-mocca.

And finally, I will leave you with a little note on tubing behind a motor boat. It’s all a ton of fun, but if you do it for too long you may end up with no skin left on your elbows. Plus, you might be amazed where a bathing suit can end up if you hit the water wrong. Trust me.

Over and out. Return trip commencing on Friday. I will Tweet my adventures, unless of course we zip down through the USA on our return trip, in which case I will go ‘silent’ as it costs too much to use our cellphone down there. See you back in Alberta!